Since I Saw You Last - Michael Clifford

Chapter Fifty Four.

A month passed after the tour ended, and we were all already back home. I swear I will remember it for a lifetime; not only because it was my first tour, although I was an opening act, but also because the memories and the experiences will be indelible, both sad ones and happy ones. I will never forget all the drama going on with Michael; I call it drama, because it literally drained me. It sucked every piece of happiness I had and I was really depressed. But then, the other half of the tour was okay. After meeting Evan everything suddenly got better and I felt happy. Michael and I are both trying to move on and I feel more relieved.

Still, that guilt I feel inside never fades. I am the one to blame for this situation; it is my fault if things got complicated, and still, even though things are okay again, the guilt won’t fade away. It still lies there inside me and kills me more and more daily. I could’ve stayed with him; I shouldn’t have left him, because I knew even though the baby’s loss was hard to cope with, we would’ve faced the situation together, united, as we were meant to be. But it’s too late now, isn’t it? We are moving on; we both are heading for our own ways. Plus, I am with Evan now and he makes me happy. He calms me down every time and I appreciate it so much. I am grateful for having him by my side.

I received a call from Evan a few days ago; he told me that next week he would come to Sydney to visit me, finally, and I was going to see him after two long months. With both being famous,we can’t find any free time to be together and that saddens me. However, in the end, we always find time for each other and squash a visit to one’s place into our full program. I was delighted I was going to see him again; he’s my boyfriend after all. I just hope things don’t get awkward again with Michael being around, but I don’t think so. He will understand, won’t he?

I was sitting on the couch and had my laptop open, scrolling over Twitter. Phoebe was making Caroline a braid, and the boys -except for Michael, who I didn’t know where he was- were watching some football match; you know, boys.

Suddenly Michael comes in smiling but he seemed a bit nervous. I swear my curiosity had taken over, since I realized something was going on and he was trying to find a way to tell us.

“Guys, can I get your attention for a moment?” he asked, nervously, and everyone turned around to face him. What was going on?

“Spill the beans bro.” Ashton said, and chuckled.

“So I’ve met this girl…” oh God tell me this isn’t happening.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.” Calum said, sitting up to adjust himself onto the loveseat and raised his hands as for to motion him to stop talking.

“What?” Michael asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Nothing.” He said, smiling but I noticed some worry in his eyes. “Continue, please.”

“Yeah… so as I told you, I met this girl okay? And her name is Grace, and we get on quite well. So, I am taking her out tomorrow night, I hope you don’t mind.” He said, smiling. He was happy; ouch, that hurt.

“But it was supposed to be our own movie night! What the hell Michael?” Luke complained, crossing his arms like a five-year old.

“I am sorry but I really have no other choice, it was her only free time and I also thought that it would be nice for you to meet her one of these days. You are my best friends, you have to know her. She has to meet you.” He stated. Ouch, another stab in the heart.

“Whatever Mike. But don’t ruin another movie night or you’re not welcome anymore!” Caroline stated, glaring at him. I know what she was thinking; she was worried about me.

“Thanks guys.” He said, and headed back to the kitchen.

I don’t really know if I am supposed to feel this way or not; am I jealous? Yeah, maybe I am. But he was too when I first got with Evan, so I guess it’s normal. I will get over it. I am pretty sure. It is just a phase to which I will have to get used and in no time everything will go back to normal.

--

A couple of weeks passed. Evan has been here since last week and he will stay for a month, and his announcement made me so happy; at least I will get distracted from thinking about Michael’s new love affair. Okay it wasn’t official, but still; whenever I heard him talk about her I felt sick. We met her when Evan came and she immediately got in my nerves. Her bright blonde hair and her kind of excessive clothing style made me think of one thing, as soon as I saw her; she looked so much like a slut. Yeah maybe now its jealousy talking and not me, but I swear her style saying nothing else but slutty. It has nothing to do with a kind and down-to-earth person. Dear Michael, couldn’t you choose at least something better? I really don’t get his taste on girls.

Someone’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I turned around to face the person.

Michael.

“Hey are you even listening to me?” he said, chuckling.

“Not really, I was thinking.” I said, and chuckled back. He stood right in front of me, as I was sitting on the kitchen’s counter.

“What were you thinking of?” he said, furrowing his eyebrows and his look turned kind of… serious?

“Nothing important.” I said, and smiled, trying to convince him.

“Are you sure?” he asked, unsure.

“Yes Michael, I told you.” I said and rolled my eyes and giggled.

“Okay. Well I came here to ask you something.” He stated. What now?

“Uhm, okay?” I said, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

“Well we are going to a friend’s party tonight; are you and Evan in for it? We’re gonna have some fun.” He asked.

“Well I don’t know-“he cut me off.

“Oh come on Alex! You can’t stay in all the time. Time to take all the stress out and have some fun, don’t you think?” he said, grinning.

“Okay, okay.” I said, laughing. I really don’t get why he cares so much about me coming.

“Thank you!” he said, for some weird reason, and left after leaving a small kiss on my cheek.

The butterflies. His touch. The kiss. My heart.

I don’t even know how to feel anymore. But should I feel this way? Is this right? Because I am afraid it’s not.

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damn. feels.

-V xx