Since I Saw You Last - Michael Clifford

Chapter Thirty Seven.

Phoebe

Before I could even realize it, Alex collapsed on the floor. That moment, I froze. I was incapable to do anything, I couldn’t even move. I fell on my knees, and started shaking her slightly, so she hopefully would recover. “Alex, Alex wake up please don’t go! Alex!”I hollered. She didn’t move an inch, and soon enough, the stress took over, and all I could do was burst in tears. Why did she do this? She finally had everything, she had Michael, a career that had just commenced and she had the perfect life any girl would love to have, but depression is trying to win over her, no matter if her dreams are fulfilled or not. This saddens me; she is not weak. She is the strongest person alive, because she is still here after all that has happened to her. She must understand though, that she has to get over this. Life sucks, but it surely doesn’t when you have nearly everything you wished for in life. I should stop thinking though; she must live her life peacefully, because that is what she deserves. I gently grab her from the back, trying to make her stand, but I was too weak to do that. I glanced over Ashton, who had froze and stared at us with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Ashton, we have to take her to the hospital.” I stated, still battling with Alex’s unconscious body. For the first time after days, he finally looked at me in the eyes.

“Shouldn’t we call an ambulance?” He said, still standing there doing nothing, which enraged me even more.

“They won’t make it here in time; she has lost so much blood… we have to take her, now.” I demanded, in an angrier tone; maybe now he would do something. Wrong… He just stayed silent, staring at me. What’s wrong with him?

“Ashton move! We have to hurry!” I yelled, clearly pissed.

“There’s no need to yell!” he hissed angrily.

“Then help me, for God’s sake!” I shouted, wrapping a towel around Alex’s arm. He shook his head, and bent down to take her off the floor and carried her in bridal style, walking down the stairs and rushed to the car. He got back in the house and threw a shirt on and pulled his all stars on. I watched every move of his, and I hadn’t noticed I was just staring, doing nothing.

“What are you staring at?” he smirked. I shook my head before I walked past him, and said “Hurry up.”

We rushed into the car and I sat on the front with Ash. Meanwhile the drive we stayed silent. I had nothing to say to him, and neither was I in the right mood to talk. We would probably be fighting anyway, because we haven’t got along really well since Caroline left. But this gave me some time to think. I thought about my bestie, who was now sitting on the back, her arm bleeding for her foolish actions. I don’t understand her. I can’t and will not understand the reason. She finally had everything she wanted in life and everything she dreamed of. Was she afraid? Didn’t she feel good enough to cope with this? Can’t she realize what’s going on is real? I can’t find any other explanations for this.

“Did you hear me?” Ashton said, his eyes glued on the road. I wasn’t really paying attention. How can I anyway? Alex could die anytime if we don’t make it to the hospital before it’s too late.

“I, uh…” I managed to mutter. What was he even saying?

“I asked why you are avoiding me all the time.” He said, dead serious. Wow, Ashton, you found the right time to talk about it. Right now, when there is my best friend at risk. How the hell should I answer him anyway? Oh you know, I am avoiding you because you’re a dick for trying to stay away from me as much as possible and telling me the kiss meant nothing to you… not that I cared, anyway.

“I don’t wanna talk about this now.” I stated, trying not to look at him, so I stared at the window. He turned his gaze to me for a few seconds before looking back to the road.

“I respect your decision not to talk about this; I know it’s not the right moment… Still you cannot escape from this, love.” He smirked.

“Don’t call me love.” I scoffed, really annoyed, and he chuckled.

“Whatever, I just wanted you to know that.”

“There’s nothing we have to talk about.” I spat coldly.

“Why are you so mad at me?” he said, ignoring my statement.

“No reason.” I said, wanting to avoid having this conversation.

“I really don’t get why you’re so mad when I’m around.” He huffed.

“Because you’re a jerk!” I shouted, and immediately covered my mouth with my hand, as soon as I realized what I said. He just looked at me frowning; I don’t even know why he looked sad, to be honest.

“Where are we going?” a weak and sleepy voice suddenly said. Alex! I turned around to face her.

“Don’t worry hun; we’re going to the hospital to medicate your arm.” I smiled at her reassuringly, motioning her to lie back on the seat.

“What? I don’t wanna go back there!” she tried to yell, but she was too weak.

“Alex, you have to.” I stated.

“It’s like being in hell. When is this going to end?” she said, as tears surrounded her eyes.

“Well, as soon as you stop making reckless decisions!” I said, in an angrier tone than expected. She hushed for a moment; maybe she understood I was right.

“Promise me you guys won’t tell anyone, nor Michael.” She pleaded.

“He will see your arm anyway…” Ashton said, smiling for a weird reason.

“No, I meant not to tell him now. He will know… just, let him have fun tonight with the boys.” She sighed. Ashton and I nodded. A few minutes later he pulled into the hospital’s parkway and parked the car somewhere near the entrance. We both got out of the car and helped Alex get in the hospital, with great difficulty though.

She is surely giving me a hard time.

Alex

 “Thank you guys.” I mumbled and smiled at them weakly, while I sat on the couch, and caressed the band aid around my arm; I flinched at the touch. It hurts worse than hell, if that makes any sense.
 
“It’s nothing.” Phoebe smiled awkwardly, and so did Ashton before running a hand through his hair. I could feel there was some tension in the room, as they didn’t even dare to talk, or even look at each other. I decided to ignore it and I headed to my room, after we exchanged our ‘goodnights’. I felt like my energies were drained and I needed some rest, just like the doctor said. If I don’t want to go back there, I will have to say as he says. I find weird the fact I have been so many times to the hospital, but I still haven’t died. What’s wrong with me?

I still don’t know why I did it. I guess the voices, and my depression decided to hit again in a moment I felt weak, no matter the great things that have been happening lately in my life. First Michael, then the album, the baby… Maybe it was all too much for me to handle. I feel unable to cope with everything all at once. They are great; it’s all I had asked for in my entire life, but maybe now that I have it, I don’t feel I am worth it. Why would I ever believe I am worth it? I feel horrible for doing this. I tried so hard not to fall in this trap again, to stop the old habits and move on, because everyone around me says I have no reason to do this, but what they can’t understand is that I can’t stop. My body asks for it, I need it. It’s something I need to go on, but meanwhile, it’s not helping me at all. I am not moving on, and I don’t know how to stop it.

I decided to stop myself from thinking about it, since I was very tired. Another day is waiting for me tomorrow, and I am sure I will have to talk about what happened to Michael; I can’t hide things to him anymore. I walked in my room and wore my pajamas, and soon enough I was in my bed, and had pulled the covers up. Right when I was going to fall asleep, the door slammed open.

“Why did you do it?” he yelled.

Michael?

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HELLO THERE HOTTIES. NEW PART AS YOU CAN SEE! I WILL UPLOAD ON SUNDAY AGAIN BECAUSE I REALLY HAVE 0 TIME LATELY AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. FUCK SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU UNDERSTAND ME, DONT YA? OF COURSE YOU DO. ANYWAYS, NOW I WILL HAVE TO GO BACK STUDYING AGAIN. I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR READING MY FANFIC GUYS I LOVE YOUUUU! MY STORY REACHED 6,000 READS! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

SAY YOU ARE A MONKEY IF YA READ THIS. LOVE YA!

-Vxx