Perhaps killing myself is the only answer, I honestly can't deal with this sh*t anymore, I sat quietly on the stairs reading my books, it's better if I stay here, I can't look at Virgil, he hates me
"There you are, I've been looking for you all day" he looked worried, maybe he does care about me
"I...I'm sorry" I apologised quietly
"Hey don't worry, I'm not mad or anything, I just got really scared" he seemed scared
"I know but I feel like sh*t" I complained
"Why, are you ok, are you hurt or anything" Virgil wondered
"Maybe" I muttered my arms were burning due to more cuts
"Oh Olivia, baby, why are are you doing this to yourself" Virgil was being comforting and kind again
"Because I'm not pretty" I whispered
"But you're pretty to me, heck you're pretty and adorable, how about I clean those cuts up and get you something to eat, how does that sound, gorgeous" Virgil grinned
"Ok, I would like that" I replied quietly
"Good, right, does your highness want to walk or shall I carry her" Virgil asked, laughing a little
"I'm feeling a little lazy today" I laughed with him
With that he picked me up and he carried me to the kitchen, he sat me down on the countertop and he looked for some bandages and some wipes to clean my arms, I felt like crying, I felt like having a panic attack, I can feel it, oh sh*t it's happening
"And I am back, hey are you ok" he was getting worried again
"I think I need to go outside, I'm having a panic attack" I told him
"Ok, do you need any assistance" he was scared for me
I nodded, I couldn't breathe, it was hurting me, I was panicking for no reason
"Olivia just try and breathe, it's ok baby" Virgil reassured me
"I can't" I almost screamed at him
"Ok ok, right, just talk to me, that usually works" it was a horrible panic attack, it was worse than my other ones, I don't want this, I want them to stop
"I'm scared, I'm so scared, I don't want this" I cried
"I know, do you want a hug" Virgil wondered
I nodded, I felt a little bit better, my heart was still beating a mile a minute, why can't I stop panicking, I was crying into his shoulder now
"I want it to stop" I sobbed
"It's ok baby, I'm here, it'll stop soon ok" Virgil whispered
I was calming down now, my heart slowed down a bit, I was clinging on to Virgil's shirt and it was hurting him that I was in this much pain
"I'm sorry" I apologised
"Aww it's ok, I don't mind, I just want you to feel safe" Virgil smiled
"It's not ok, I start having random panic attacks for no reason, I feel stupid" I muttered, I got down from the countertop and I sat at the table
"Do you want a drink, I can make you some hot chocolate, oh look there's marshmallows and whip cream too" Virgil offered
I nodded, I placed my head on the table, I was shaking so much still
"I'm sorry" I apologised again
"Nothing is your fault, you just got a bit panicky and you're probably stressed and tired" Virgil protested, he placed a cup of hot chocolate down next to me
"This is getting to much for you, you can't keep cleaning up after my stupid childishness" I muttered
"Don't go there, your possible anxiety disorder isn't childishness" Virgol growled
I'm sorry
YOU ARE READING
Painful pasts and terrible truths
Fanfiction[sequel to The Tracy Family Feud] Olivia finally plucks up the courage to tell the brothers about her past and her family life, could this have devastating effects on her relationship with the one person who cares for her and looks out for her
