Painful pasts and terrible truths

Chapter 54

"Olivia I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that to you, it's just that I've been feeling really lonely" Virgil tried to reason with me.

"Now is not the time to be talking about this" I muttered, Gordon stood up from his seat, he was going to get ready to launch Thunderbird four.

"Right I'm ready when you are Virge" Gordon sighed.

"Hang on, I've got something for you" I laughed and I hugged him and kissed his cheek "thats for good luck."

I felt happier with Gordon, at least he's been there for me.

*end of the dream*

I woke up suddenly, I checked my arms, I still had the cuts, I broke down into tears.

"Olivia what's wrong" Virgil wondered and he sat down on my bed.

"I had a bad dream" I cried.

"Shh, it's ok, I'm here now, it's not going to hurt you" why is he so calm and comforting.

"I relapsed as well" I sobbed.

"I know, I saw the blades, I was going to talk about it with you tomorrow, please don't hurt yourself baby, I don't want you to be in pain" Virgil whispered into my hair.

"I'm sorry" I apologised between sobs.

"You're getting yourself into a right old state aren't you, I told you it's ok, I can protect you from those bad dreams" Virgil reassured me.

"H-help m-me" I begged him, I think I was having a panic attack.

"Ok, ok, calm down, it's going to be fine" he's not helping, I couldn't breathe, I pushed him away and I decided to lie on the floor.

"Please don't touch me, I need to recover" I ordered.

"Alright, I'll wait for you to calm down then" he wasn't very happy with me, he did cross his arms at one point.

I guess I fell asleep after I calmed down.

*Virgil's POV*

She had fallen asleep, poor thing, I picked her up and I gently placed her back in her bed, I placed the duvet over her and I found one of her plushies on the floor, I placed it in her arms, I kissed her forehead and I went back to the spare room, I couldn't get back to sleep, no matter how hard I tried, I went on my phone for a bit, even that didn't help.

"F*ck" I muttered to myself.

I hated my insomnia, it's getting worse, I can't take more sleeping pills because that'll kill me, I was still awake at ten o'clock, I got up, ahh, we're flying home today, help, I can't fly whilst I'm tired, I checked myself in the mirror, my eyes had dark circles under them, I look so tired.

"Good morning" Olivia's mum chimed when she saw me walk down the stairs.

"Morning" I grumbled, I felt awful.

"Tea or coffee" Olivia's mum asked.

"Coffee please" I replied "can I have it black with two sugars."

"Sure sweetie, anything for Olivia's handsome boyfriend" Olivia's mum laughed.

I had to laugh with her, it would be awkward if I didn't.