Painful pasts and terrible truths

Chapter 67

Gordon had survived the surgery on his spinal cord, he's had the implants in his pelvis adjusted to make sure they stay put this time as well.

"Thanks for getting me to the hospital you two" Gordon mumbled politely, I hugged him tightly as any normal older brother should have, Olivia was sitting there quietly, all of her siblings have just abandoned her, but if I do marry her she'll gain brothers who care about her.

"I'm going to get something to eat, do you two want anything" Olivia wondered, she was standing tentatively at the door.

"Nah, I'm alright, do you want anything Gordo" I replied, Gordon thought about his decision wisely.

"Can you get me a green tea, I've missed a day of my green tea detox, oh and could you get me a brownie please" Gordon requested.

"Sure, want some fish food as well" Olivia chuckled at his response and she left the room in her pursuit of getting food.

"I'm pretty sure she's upset Virgil, you should go and talk to her, she needs you more than ever right now, you know what it's like, heck even you're not over it" Gordon told me.

I knew what he was talking about, I struggled to swallow the lump in my throat, he was talking about mum, I felt so awful, I watched as she was taken away from me, if only I had reached a little further this wouldn't have happened, it was my fault.

"I need to get a breather, I'll be back in a minute" I sniffed, I left the room, my chest was beginning to tighten, I can't have another panic attack now, I haven't had one since I was 10, I steadied myself against the wall, I couldn't breathe, I felt tears streaming down my face, Olivia saw me and she ran over to me.

"Baby it's ok, do you need anything" Olivia wondered, placing the various items she managed to acquire down and she tried to comfort me, wiping my tears away with a scrunched up tissue that she had in her pocket.

"I don't know why this is happening" I cried, I didn't like this, now I know how she feels, I just want mum back.

"It's ok honey, do you want a hug, it's going to be alright" Olivia offered, she sounded too much like mum which only made me cry harder, Gordon was right, I'm still not over it, I hugged Olivia tightly.

"I want my mummy" I sobbed, she comforted me and tried to soothe my panicked and disheveled self, I had to sit down before I passed out, Olivia knelt down to my level and she held me as I bawled my eyes out.

"I know you do baby, it's going to be alright, I know it's hard to get over it but you need to remember the happy times you had with her, you need to try and remember every time she smiled and laughed because of your goofy antics" Olivia whispered softly into my hair, I definitely have a problem.

"If I could trade one day just to get her back, I would" I murmured "if I could get just one day to see her smiling again, just one day to see how proud she is of us."

"She is proud of all of you, I know she is, please just try and keep her alive in there" Olivia mumbled and she placed her hand on my chest where my heart is, I felt my heart rate elevate as she did that "we both can't handle grief very well can we."

"No, we can't" I chuckled quietly, I felt a little better after a while, I was still shaken up, but my panic attack was over.

"Come on, go and get yourself cleaned up, I'm sure Gordon wouldn't want to see his big brother looking like he is now" Olivia laughed quietly and she kissed me.

*Olivia's POV*

I took the food I bought into Gordon's room and I saw Gordon trying to get comfortable but he winced every time he moved, I helped him a bit by readjusting his pillows.