Save Me From Myself

Chapter 21-Olivia

Danny's POV

I stayed up all night, watching Al sleeping, showing her to the door, kissing her forehead before she left and I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. She has been extremely cold lately. Like she suddenly lost interest in me, in us and all that we meant. We stopped making love, we stopped being us for the last couple of months. She would stay on the phone, laptop, or tablet for hours barely saying two words to me.

I knew my condition wouldn't make things easier, but I never imagine we'd lose ourselves so easily. She stopped smiling the second she would come back home, her patience would wear off and I couldn't say anything to her, because I knew I was the one to blame. I lit myself another cigarette with shaking hands and burning my fingers in the process. My grip wasn't what it used to be and I started using a walker to help me move around the house.

I knew the point where I couldn't do anything was coming soon, and that feeling was wearing me off. I became more and more self aware of that. But today was something I was looking forward to. I won't be alone facing this. It was a weary consolation, like a ribbon you get in a fare for participating to that event.

Al told me about Olivia and painted her in the nicest possible colours. She almost felt relieved she was going to be around me. Our discussion was one of the most awkward ones we had. She was happy she was going to be here on a daily basis.

"She is so beautiful, you'll love her instantly. Those eyes...never seen eyes like hers before. Steel grey. She is a doll..."
"Al baby, you're painting a picture of her like there would be the chance for me to fall in love with her..."
"I'm not worried about that Dan, at this point you're like a cute little lovesick puppy. And who would love you like this?", she said.

She realised she made a big mistake and bit her lip. No sorry, no nothing...I looked at her and asked myself where did the innocent woman disappear? Where did that girl with big scared eyes go and when was she replaced by this cold version of her?

I woke up from the trance when I heard a key roll in the door. A part of me wanted to be Al, that it was all a joke and that I was just having weird, confused thoughts in my head. I heard a luggage being dropped on the floor and soon a pair of boots followed. A girl with a set of jet black hair appeared in the living room, all put up in a messy bun and dressed in a checkered shirt with a t-shirt underneath it. She was tall and skinny, but not in the skinny way Al was. She had a bit more meat on her bones. But it suited her. Her feet had the weirdest brightest socks which immediately caught my eye.

"Hello Mr. O'Donoghue I'm Olivia!", she said smiling and coming to me, shaking my hand.
"Good lord how old are you?", I said with the most shocked expression on my face.
"Twenty seven, good God! Why does everyone think I'm younger?"
"You don't look a day over 16...and you are four years younger than my wife..."
"Well, I may not look my age, but I can assure we will have a great deal of fun?", she said smiling again, making her way to the kitchen where from the sounds she she was making it seemed she had found the kettle and filled it with water.
"What are you doing? ", I asked curiously, trying to get myself up from the armchair I've been sitting on.
"Tea, the old fashioned way, I hate those electric kettles, they take the whole fun out of it. Don't worry, your wife showed me around the house and I have a pretty good memory Mr. O'Donoghue."
"Call me Dan, you make me seem older than I am."

She came back in an split second holding two cups of tea in her hand and smiling. Always smiling...

"She has a lovely smile", I said to myself, taking the cup from her in both my hands.

"Well...Dan, seems it's the two of us for a while. I made the tea as you like it. Mrs. O'Donoghue told me how you like it..."
"Call her Al...after all she is not that old."
"We never spoke on a second name basis."
"So, Olivia...I am pretty easy to handle...Hope you are patient..."
"Don't worry Dan, but I hope you are patient with me too..I have this thing in which I don't believe in illness...and I truly believe that you can be cured."
"Cured? The doctor said it's irreversible."
"Yes when you're 70, not 36...I had a look on your file. I wanna know how much mobility you still have."
"Well it's obvious I cannot do track running anymore. I can't feel my left side properly. My right side is okay...but I'm starting to lose mobility there too."
"Hmmm...Dan I promise I will do my best to help you. But you have to promise that you will work with me to and let me help you."
"Al never told me about this. That you were going to help me."
"Because I never told her I can help you. Because from what I understood from her you were paralysed. And then I analysed your file over two jars of coffee and a discussion with my sister. It all starts from here.", she said pointing to her head.
"Okay, this is great news. When do you wanna start this?"
"Well, let me unpack my bags and we can start."
"I don't know how to thank you for giving me this hope. It's the best news I heard in months."
"And Dan...another thing...let this be our little secret. Okay? I don't want to get everyone's hopes up."
"Okay...", I said reluctantly.

I didn't know whether she was crazy or completely out of her mind. I looked again in her eyes and read something else. Hope and another feeling...but I couldn't quite place my finger on it. She was exuberant and friendly, like a breath of fresh air. I followed her eyes and realised she was looking at the piano and at me, and that spark made me realise that she was eager to play. The next logical question was to ask her if she played. Her eyes locked with mine for a split second and I saw the same look I had on my face when I was near an instrument.

"Can I? Promise you won't laugh...I learned it by ear...I don't know how to read music. My family was against us learning music, they wanted us to become doctors or lawyers, so I kinda learned piano and guitar without them knowing."
"Really? That is brilliant! Play for me."
"It's something I wrote...when I was drunk...so don't laugh..."
"You're not the only one sister...I wrote a lot of songs when I was drunk."

She sat in front of the piano and I heard something that my ears haven't listened in a long time.

"She said hey, wait, listen now to what I've gotta say
I don't think I want it this way...
We've become, some poor excuse, a love that's come undone
And how do we get so numb?

I wanna be in your control, so unmerciful
You can twist me and turn me, just don't let me go...

I wanna be your puppet on a string, baby I'm not holding back we can do anything
And even if I'm crazy, it's cause you made me this way
We're as close to love as we'll ever get...
I wanna be your marionette...marionette...marionette"

"Wow, stop, this is beautiful..."
"Beautiful but you stopped me...", she said with a sad smile on her face.
"No...I wanna hear more...but I wanna hear you play guitar as well, and your voice...it's just wow...I stopped you because this song is too close to what I feel right now...and it hurts...", I said sadly.
"It's close to what I feel too...okay...I have another one...thank you for stopping me...I felt gutted at one point."
"Love is tough Liv, mind if I call you Liv?"
"No, all my friends call me Liv. Where is the guitar?"
"Behind you..."
"Ah silly me. Ok...now here it goes. Ready?"
"Yes..."

"I don't accept geometry in love
Triangle in love, walks on a thin thread
And I'm not afraid to fall, I'm afraid that you might fall.
You can't drown your misery in a bottle of wine for a long time.
But the time passes and I want to see the love passing by too,
To see the love passing by too.

But I have a bag full of dreams
I am afraid of dark, but I run on streets with the lights turned off,
So no one will see me,
From being cried out of love.

Yes, mother, I'm drunk
Because I can't forget him in other way,
And I don't need your forgiveness
Don't tell me you were not the same, once

Not the pain, but the hope is killing me
And I drink to forget every night
And I am not afraid to lose, I'm afraid that you might lose.
I swear that I don't call him, even if I'm desperate,
The way I was calling him every time.
I'm smiling now, just because you are looking at me.

But I have a bag full of dreams
I am afraid of dark, but I run on streets with the lights turned off,
So no one will see me,
From love cried out.

Yes, mother, I'm drunk
Because I can't forget him in other way,
And I don't need your forgiveness
Don't tell me you were not the same, once.

I'm not crying now, no, no, no, no, no, no
I've had enough, no, no, no, no, no, no
And I will forget his love
And I will drink...

Yes, mother, I'm drunk
Because I can't forget him in other way,
And I don't need your forgiveness
Don't tell me you were not the same,once."

"Wow, this is amazing! Liv promise me something. That you will let me do something for you too."
"What?"
"I can't tell you but you have to promise me that you will do it."
"I promise Dan."