Save Me From Myself

Chapter 42-Am I?

Nina's POV

It has been one month since me and Danny started dating. In this month I travelled to Dublin, met his family and friends, they met my daughter and he met my friends too. It was safe to say that the girls at work could finally breathe properly. I also met Olivia, not in person but through a video call. And Danny was right, she was a sweet woman who, despite her fame, was friendly and outgoing.

I also met Agnes, their manager who in my point of view looked like a big bitch. But she couldn't play with me and my head. I mean, she was almost ten years younger than me. I've dealt with my kid and when you're a mother you see practically everything. There is nothing else left to surprise you.

The sex was good, so good, Danny was a passionate lover. So passionate that we never used protection. And now I was sitting in the pharmacy looking at pregnancy tests. I was late two weeks and I wasn't happy about that. My period was like a Swiss watch-always on time.

"I'm telling you Aidan I'm late!", I said looking at another box.
"Late for what? I don't get a word you're saying!"

I turned back to him and I started to talk again.

"My period is late! Two weeks and I'm pretty sure that I don't want a child right now. Fucking shit these pregnancy tests are more different than the last time I was pregnant. Whatever happened to those sticks where you had to pee on them and that was basically it?"
"From my experience of peeing on sticks, which is zero I have no fucking clue what you are talking about!"
"I'm talking about the possibility that I may be pregnant!"
"Does Danny know?"
"No he doesn't know and don't you even breathe a word to Robin either!"
"Okay now choose a test already! What about this one? Or buy the whole fucking rack already! I already feel like an idiot for being here..."
"Okay...okay...", I mumbled picking out two boxes.

We went and paid for them and I jumped on his bike.

I feel like I need to tell you a little bit about Aidan. We were friends a long time. He was a big flirt and that's why we never ever considered the fact of actually being together. We were the same age and grew up in the same foster home and everyone thought for a long time that the two of us shared more than we actually were. And that was being good friends.

Despite the fact that he was a very attractive man, just as tall as Danny, but with blonde hair and green eyes and a more muscular construction I was never attracted by him more than in the friend based thing. As we got to my apartment I started drinking water so I can actually take the pregnancy test.

"What if I'm pregnant?", I asked Aidan as I was pacing back and forth in my living room.
"Then you're going to have a child, it's that easy...."
"It's not that easy...me and Danny have been together for only one month and three days..."
"And you said you didn't keep count...", he said sarcastically.
"Shut up! Now seriously I don't want a kid, I mean I always thought of the prospect of having another child but not now...it's too early...it would feel like an invisible string between us."
"Look, I've only met the guy once...he seemed to be head over heels for you, or if not that, really into you. And he loves Robin a lot."
"But a kid is not the next step. To be honest I don't even wanna know if I wanna get married again. Let alone have a child with someone I just met. I'm walking a thin ledge..."
"Oh will you take the damn test already?"
"I'm scared..."
"Scared of what?! That you will pee on your hand? Lucky the soap was invented."
"Jesus can you be more insensitive?"
"Can you go and per now?"
"Ok...ok..."

I went to the bathroom and closed the door behind me, praying to God in my head that I wasn't pregnant. I sat on the toilet as I took the test and then put it on the sink. Three minutes...three minutes of agony.