Save Me From Myself

Chapter 47-Nothing

Danny's POV

I was empty inside. I kept on asking God why he didn't want me to have a child. I knew it wasn't her mistake, I believed that she didn't know about it as well. But I couldn't help myself. I had all the right to be angry. Now the words she said burnt in my skull. I saw Robin coming in the studio part of the bus and taking a seat next to Mark. And I knew something was wrong.

She looked at me blank, without any of her expressions of fondness that she had before regarding me.

"Danny can you please drop me and mum to a nearby hotel? Thank you for what you did for us but I think it's time for us to leave you guys do what you're best at."
"Robin what are you talking about? You just arrived...is everything okay?", asked Mark.
"Yes, all is good, geez thanks Mark for everything. But we have to go back. Mum was called back to work. Something happened there."

A lie. I knew it was a big lie. But I nodded. She hugged everyone in the room, including me and went back to the small kitchen, where Nina was.

"Can you tell me what's wrong? Why all the sudden..."
"It's okay Mark okay. No need to worry."
"You know she lied. What is happening? And don't bullshit me Dan!", said Mark.
"Yeah, ever since you came from the hospital to rehearsals you were off...like something bad happened.", added Glen.
"Is there anything you guys don't notice?"
"Nope. Now tell us."
"I won't...I'll just let her have it her way."

I went outside the studio, leaving the lads wonder what happened between me and Nina. She was sipping from a cup of tea and just chatting with Robin.

"Robin can I have a word with your mother in private?"
"Sure. I will just go finish packing.", she said going in the other part of the bus.
"You know you don't have to leave."
"I don't but what's the point of us staying here? I mean...after what happened..."
"There is..."
"No, I'm sorry Danny...there isn't. You made your point clear. You want a child and a family and I failed in giving you that. And apart from that you don't trust me. And I cannot be with someone who doesn't trust me."
"So, this is the end?", I asked her.
"I think so...now...excuse me. I have to go help Robin."
"I will talk to the driver to drop you at a hotel near an airport. Don't worry I will pay for everything."
"Don't you get it? I don't want your money. It was never about the money, the status or who you are! It was about you! It was always about you and the feelings I started having for you! It wasn't about the status, the fancy cars or anything else! I wanted you! And I was blinded by love! But I don't want to be around someone who doesn't trust me! Do you think this is easy for me? After all it wasn't only YOUR baby! It was a piece of me too! And you just assumed that I would go behind your back! Now if you'll excuse me I have to do what's best for me and Robin.", she said eyes sparkling from tears.

We dropped them off at the hotel near the airport and as Robin said goodbye to everyone I came next to her again. Despite the heat she had a light poncho all wrapped around her body. I knew she was unwell and still I continued with this madness. Somehow I wanted to see how far she could go, despite the fact that I was slowly dying on the inside, despite the fact that I wanted to hold her in my arms and kiss her and never let her go.

"Is this goodbye for good?", I whispered in her ear.
"I guess so...", she said, not even looking me in the eyes.

"Thank you for everything lads. It was fun while it lasted.", said Robin in a forced cheerful note.
"Take care of you kiddo...and don't forget to practice all the time.", said Mark hugging her tightly.

Robin waved goodbye, while Nina pulled the bags in front of the hotel door. I watched them go inside as I got in the tour bus and then went to the minibar where I poured a glass of whiskey.