Save Me From Myself

Chapter 45-The Good and the Bad 2

Nina's POV

I looked at her not knowing whether this was a test or not coming from Danny. But I wanted to know that was going on. Danny didn't talk about his ex wife too much, he didn't talk about Olivia and, yes, blame me I was curious. I know it was a morbid curiosity, but I wanted to know what I was getting myself into. For me and the sake of Robin. I didn't want her to be heartbroken.

"Well?", asked Olivia smiling.
"I want to know about Alexis.", I said blushing.
"Alexis, what about her?"
"How she was, who she was...everything...", I replied, taking a sip from my coffee.
"Alexis is Dan's ex wife. She died almost a year ago. Suicide. Alexis was saved by Dan four years ago, from an abusive relationship. And she grew on him slowly. He was young and single at the time, mending himself from a break up. They dated on and off and got married. And then Dan got sick. I'm the meantime, he helped her build a career as a photographer, as you say, put her on her feet. The world was an oyster for her. She thought she would stick next to him for her entire life and they would have a happy marriage. But as Dan's illness progressed, she became more and more unhappy and cheated on him with Glen."
"Glen? What? No, that's not possible! Is that why he doesn't even look me in the eye properly?"
"Basically yes. Alexis was saved by the three of them one night in Dublin. Glen had feelings for her, but Dan was in the picture. She was unhappy, I said that before. And since she knew Glen she just went for him. But as soon as Dan was better, thanks to me, she realised the mistake she made. That's how me and Dan became friends."
"But...how? I don't understand..."
"I was in the point where I wanted nothing to do with my legacy. I worked as a therapist and I was madly in love with him. I thought he was my one and only love back then. Turned out it was a whim. Now, shall I move on?", she added.
"Yes..."
"Me and Dan were friends, I was his therapist and I believed he would be okay, I believed that his illness was just a bad diagnosis. And I was right. And that's how we started dating. My sister was worried about me, my whole family basically was worried about me. I didn't have any relationship or anything similar because I only thought of him, I wanted to rebel against my family, like all the women in my family have, but I soon realised that it was useless. I realised the differences between me and Dan, I realised that we belonged in different places, and it just fizzled out. We remained friends. And then you came along..."
"How did Alexis look like?"
"She was a beautiful woman. Dark blue eyes, black hair, they basically could've been brothers. I can't deny she was a strong woman, but at one point she lost the whole plot. She was too torn between everything. Glen and Dan, her pregnancy, the feelings she still had for Dan..."
"So that's why Danny wanted a child...Alexis was pregnant with his child...", I said.
"No, Alexis was pregnant with Glen's child. Dan wants a kid because he loves kids. I think you saw him with Mark's kids, with his nieces....with your daughter. He is a natural with children."
"Yes, but I couldn't help myself from thinking, why do all his family and friends are cold towards me?"
"They got burnt with Alexis, and they got burnt with me. So, it comes as natural for them to be defensive. In time they will come around, trust me."
"I find that hard to believe...can I let you into a secret? I'm not comfortable of speaking about it in front of my friends and in front of Danny..."
"Sure, I'm all ears, though I have to tell you I find it funny you call him Danny...Dan...and nothing will go further than this table. And I'm sure that all that I told you won't get to Dan."
"Why do you trust me so much? You don't even know me...", I asked.
"I'm good at judging characters. And it seems that you've been through a lot. You love your child and you love Dan. I see it in your eyes. And for me that's a reassurance that you won't break his heart."
"I went to the doctor because I thought I was pregnant...all the tests came out negative, but I had a feeling...and the doctor told me It is a possibility that I may not be able to have any more children..."
"And Dan doesn't know about it?"
"No he doesn't...He keeps talking about having a child and starting a family and it kills me to know I cannot give that to him. Yes, he has Robin, and he loves her...but...she is not his daughter and I know that a man would want to hold his own child in his arms...", I said looking straight into her grey eyes.
"You don't know him that well. He loves you, I know how he talks about you and about Robin, and I know that if you would talk to him about it, he would understand."
"I'm afraid he would just bail..."
"Trust me when I say he wouldn't bail. I know him all too well...we had endless conversations practically about anything. And he isn't the type to bail. He sits and fights but he needs to have a reason to fight for. Neither me, nor Alexis gave him reasons to fight. But with you, you are different. But a piece of advice: don't change, be honest with him."
"I don't want to hurt him..."
"Don't do it then. Don't hurt him. Now...what else do you want to know?"
"Do you still love him?"
"I do...I still love him, with all my heart and soul, but I know he is happy now for the first time in a long time and I want him to be happy. I want him to start over again, with you.", she replied with tears in her eyes.

It was the first time she showed other emotions, other than her smile. And I understood her. I understood both her pain and her happiness. She was in pain because she loved him still, the same love she had in the beginning, but she was happy that he was happy. For her that was enough.

"Can I hug you?", I asked her.
"Of course you can. And feel free to call me anytime.", she said picking a card from her purse.

I hugged her and I couldn't help but feeling a wave of love and respect for her. She was a beautiful character and that character couldn't be altered by all the money in the world, nor by her status.

I went back to the hotel room to find Danny pacing back and forth with anxiety. He hugged me tightly and kissed me.

"I thought you ran away on me...", he whispered slowly in my ear.
"I needed to calm down after all the shocks I've been through today...how is Robin?"
"Fast asleep, she didn't wake up not even once. Where were you?"
"Went in the hotel restaurant...Danny we need to talk."
"Is everything okay?"
"To be honest no..."
"I have news. Agnes signed her resignation, George is back..."
"Really? That's good news... I hope...shall we sit down?"
"Nina, baby is everything okay?"
"Not really... I have to tell you something...and I don't want you to run away...and I don't want you to get mad...I want you to listen to me...and I hope things between us don't change...because I love you, I love you too much..."
"I love you too, now tell me..."
"I thought I was pregnant...so I went to the doctor...but he told me it is a possibility that I may not be able to have children anymore...and it kills me because I know how much you want a family..."
"Baby, I already have a family. I love you and Robin. And if God doesn't want us to have kids, well, that's not an issue. I love Robin as if she is my own child and nothing can change that. I love you, you make me happy. You are a woman who deserves the world. And you have raised an amazing daughter and I would be honoured if one day, she will have my name. Just like you..."
"Danny...."
"No baby, don't cry, please...listen to me...nothing that you just told me would ever push me away from you. I love you far too much. I know it's a fresh relationship and I know I fucked up along the years, but I wanna make it right with you. It feels right, so right being around you. And the way we met, it's not a coincidence. You and me both know that."
"Oh Danny!", I said hugging him tightly and crying softly in his chest.

He took my hand in his as I muzzled his perfume and the smell of his skin. Then he looked me in the eyes and kissed my lips. It felt far too right. As if the universe was trying to tell us something. I touched his eyes and mapped his face out line by line as he listened to everything I had to say...It was so right. As he took me in his arms I thanked God that he came in my life the way he did. A stranger at first, but now someone I knew all too well...

He laid me on the bed and slowly took off my dress, not leaving me for a second out of sight. And he made love to me, slowly, passionately. I ran my fingers through his hair and whispered a million times that I loved him. And I knew, I knew it all too well. I knew we were meant for each other.