Save Me From Myself

Chapter 33-Stick to The Script

Olivia's POV

I listened to the discussion Dan and the lads had with their board of directors and couldn't believe my ears. Well, everything that Agnes woman said was right. She was right about everything and I couldn't say anything against it. I squeezed Dan's shoulder gently, trying to calm him down in a way.

"Don't worry Dan, we will get through this. Promise."
"I don't like how this whole idea of hers sounds like. Can you understand that?"
"I know but she has a point. I don't want you guys to get hate mail instead of fan mail. We will deal with this. I promise."
"Somehow I think this is a joke Alexis is playing on me just to see how much I am willing to fight for you."
"Well, you will just have to prove that you are willing to fight for me. And you don't have to prove it to anyone, but yourself. I will be patient."

Somehow I tried keeping myself happy with the fact that he will be busy with the tour and I would go to some of his concerts and this year will pass so fast that neither of us will feel it.

"So when will the tour start?", I asked.
"In two weeks time. It's all going to go quick. We will fly to Joburg to shoot the music video then, promoting, then Dublin Castle and then more promoting and then press releases and album release and then when this all finishes we will be in London. Two shows at the O2 arena then...fuck I have to check my calendar because I have no fucking clue. I feel so little prepared for this tour after all the craziness that's been on recently."
"Well, I know it will be good. And I will buy tickets to all the shows in the UK and I will fangirl alongside other people and we will camp in our sleeping bags waiting to catch barrier. It will be fun."
"You know you don't have to do that.", he replied looking at me seriously.
"But I want to do that. It will be a great deal of fun. You know I'm not into the whole glamorous life anyway."
"How does your social calendar look like?"
"Well, nothing much to be honest...a month in the Hamptons with my grandmother, she has this whole string of charity events, some of which I actually love. And then the whole White Party and then some work and then some charity events of my own, the BBC Cancer Awareness, the charity run I do every year, work and all that. It's kinda fun. Oh and some fashion events I have to go with my mother and sister."
"You have quite a long list as well. How come you are going to attend fashion shows and stuff like that? You were never into them anyway..."
"Oh and I forgot I will be presenting two awards for Meteor Choice Awards and one at the Logies. My mother thought it would be a good idea to do that because she talked to our counsellor and that would be a good idea to steer everyone away from what is actually important. Meaning us."
"Does your family by any chance have the same board of directors as we do?"
"Don't think so...my family has an army of publicists and image directors and apart from that my cousins brought some bad publicity to the family name. And my sister is trying to clean up the act as much as she can, but the press is more interested in the scandal or me. Mainly because I don't do that many public appearances."
"Which one was the worst? In your book?"
"When a paparazzi stalked me at work. I deal with disabled patients all the time and no one wants to see their faces in the newspapers. It makes them feel like a charity case, and, I happen to love what I do."
"You're truly amazing you know that? And I'm looking forward to seeing you in front row at the shows. By the way we are going to have a flag parade. Why don't you sign up to it?"
"Me? No... I wanna give others the chance to see you and meet you guys. I can meet up with you anytime. Others don't have that chance."
"Aren't you afraid someone might steal me in the process?", he laughed cheekily.
"No. Because I trust you. And because there is nothing in the world that could compare to me being pissed off. A hurricane looks like a warm summer breeze compared to me.", I said pinning him down to the bed and kissing him.

We enjoyed the moment that we had to the fullest because basically that would be one of our last moments like this. After that it will be a string of friendly "hello's", kisses on the cheek and other awkward moments like that. Not sleeping together, no cuddling in his arms, no nothing.

Our relationship meant that we were turning from lovers into friends. It was hard to do that, my mind couldn't accept that, but I comforted myself to the thought that this will only last for a year and then we would finally tell the world how we feel about each other.

He sneaked at the crack of dawn out of the apartment leaving me alone. I kissed him one last time and then I went back in bed, crying. I tried convincing myself one last time that it will all be okay, and that it's just a test for the two of us, then I forced myself to take a shower and function properly. Maybe I will sign up to a flag parade or two...why not?

"No you are being selfish right now! Liv! You are better than that! You won't, I REPEAT, YOU WON'T sign up for any parade!"

My conscience was giving me a kick in the balls and I said what the hell. This time I want to be selfish. I really want to be selfish. Those parades were the only thing that could give me the chance to see him and be close to him in a less crowded place.

I opened my laptop and started looking at the news, reading about everything that happened in the world. My hair was still a mess, and my face was puffy from crying. And I had to go home to have a chat with my mother. By chat meaning a long, boring discussion on outfits, bags, shoes and the actual order.

But in my head the things to pack for his upcoming shows, buying tickets and looking for hotels sounded much, much better than shopping for Prada. He posted an announcement on Twitter that said about preparing for an upcoming surprise. And then a photo of himself and the lads in the airport.

My phone then beeped. A text from him with a photo as well.

❤️:<< Boarding on the plane...eeek! Did I just write eeek? 😂😂Lol...it's all becoming so real now. Gonna miss you kiddo, text you when I land. Xxx D>>
Me:<<eek...lol safe travels, the countdown begins...xxx will send you photos with the crazy outfits my mum will pick out for me...😐😐 xxx L>>
Me:<<by the way you are handsome...yum❤️ xxxL>>
❤️:<<the quiff is back, in the back of me head 😁😂😂😂😏 xxxD>>

I decided that it was a good time to start getting ready, after all it will take me at least two hours until I make myself look decent. I was sick of all those weird questions that my family would ask me, approximately every two minutes.

"Hey babes...when are you coming home? I don't wanna face mum all by myself.", I asked my sister, while I was trying to pull on a pair of jeans.
"Well, I have to leave Anthony with the minder, and I will be there...let's say in about half an hour...", she replied in a cheerful voice.
"Why are you so cheerful? Especially when it comes to mum?"
"Well, I'm not cheerful because of that. I already know the whole "let's not disgrace our family just like your cousins did", speech...I'm cheerful because I just got some news from the doctor and she told me I might be pregnant again."
"Ok...you lost me here...what do you mean by "might"?", I asked her.
"Oh I am pregnant but it might be twins. Isn't that sweet?"

I felt a pang of jealousy. Laurel was three years older than me and she was married with a three year old son and she was expecting again. She stopped rebelling against my mother's wishes a long time ago and my mother made her path clear as crystal. And then there was me. I waited for Dan for six years and now that I had him I was supposed to wait another indefinite period of time. Because the shit Agnes delivered him that's it's only gonna be a year was a big lie. Laurel sensed my internal struggle and asked me if I was okay.

"Yes, it's just me and Dan...I've waited for him all these years and now I feel like I'm punished. I didn't want to jump straight into things, but all this publicity stunt that everyone is pulling is getting on my nerves. I don't wanna wait for things to settle down, I don't give a shit! Alexis cheated on him, then she killed herself because she couldn't have him back! There I've said it!", I said breathing quickly.
"Liv, even if Alexis hadn't killed herself, you two still couldn't have made it public. At least not now. Paparazzi and the press would've dug every little detail and what would have happened afterwards? A whole mess. It will pass quickly don't worry. And I'm sure Dan wouldn't let things go that easily."
"What do you think about Dan by the way? You're my sister, you've met him and I wanna know."
"Well, do you wanna know the cliff notes version? I'll tell it to you. I think you rushed into things and saying what you feel about him. I think he likes you but he still doesn't know what he wants. He thinks he knows but he doesn't. He is trying to rebel against himself. And I think the fact that you won't be able to see each other is a good thing because it will let you figure out if this is what the two of you want. Plus I know you all too well Liv. You're a good person but you always gave up on things instead of fighting for them. You were never patient."