(Trigger warning)
How can you deal with loosing your lover after 5 years? How can you deal with the pain of seeing them walk out of your life?
Well, the answer to that is, you don't. You don't know how to deal with it, you don't know the pain if it until it happens to you.
So, when you their hastily thrown on jacket, fluttering behind them, and the door closing after a very emotional, one sided, conversation. Them pouring their heart out and you just standing there, unable to say anything, to form a proper response.
And, that's when their gone and you feel like you've been stabbed in the heart and someone twisted the blade, making the knife dig deeper and hurt even more.
That's when you find the words that would've made then stay. The words straight from your heart. The words you'd give anything to say to them.
But, they're gone and never coming back. They slipped from your grasp, right between your fingers like sand.
And, the realization of that makes the pain even worse, makes that knife sink deeper and deeper until it feels like the pain is too much. Until it feels like actually plunging a knife through your heart would be less painful.
Then, you see them in town, walking with another person. You see the two laughing, having a good time. Then they kiss the other and that knife continues to dig deeper, continues to cut deeper and deeper.
Then, it becomes too much, the knife having cut to deep, and you bring a blade to your wrist, cutting deep, as deep as the knife in your heart. The last thought on your mind is of them.
