Madly Desired - Bradley Will Simpson/Rita Ora

Chapter 2: Nothing Can Kill Me Like You Do

Rita's POV,

@RitaOra: Sometimes your best just ain't enough 😔

I tweet out the tweet. Another hour wasted in the office, being told that my new single didn't do as well as they hoped for it to. It's not my fault is it though? I look through the replies, smiling at people's comments. Most of them just beg for a follow and attention. That annoys me, does nobody understand that being famous is actually a lot of work and a pain in the ass at times? Then I see his tweet. I always see them, I'm just not allowed to favourite them or follow him.

Why? Because management think it could give me a bad image, following a fan. They think my fans mean nothing to me, when actually, they're the only thing that is keeping me going sometimes.

@BradleySimpson: just smile, everything will get better, I promise💕

I let my finger hover over the favourite button but I don't press it, knowing that management are following my every move. I feel so trapped, like I need to escape. So many times, I've thought about running away. Maybe then they would actually care about how I feel?

They set me up on fake dates with celebrities so the magazines and TVs have gossip. I've never had a proper relationship in my 18 years. I'm not a virgin, but I've never had that cute relationship that most girls dream about.

'I'm not asking for too much, put your fingertips on me
Don't wait 'til the sun's up, we can keep this in between'

I write down the lyrics as they come into my head. I'm not asking for much, I just want to be able to do what I want to, and I want to feel what it is like to be in a relationship and be loved. I don't want to wait any longer, I want to live my life my way, not theirs. But for now, I can only keep this between us.

"How's it going?" My manager asks walking in.

"Quite good, thinking of having a male feature on it?" Suggests, hoping he'd like the idea.

"From the lyrics, I think we could, we can make it sexy and open and let people feel what you feel." He says. If people wanted to know what I'd feel like, the song would not be sexy and open, trust me.

I then do some dance rehearsals. Nothing exciting really, just to make sure I know everything for my video 'Poison'. This is a time when I have to concentrate, or be put down by the management and hear them tell me how I'm nothing but a waste of talent.

Everyone thinks my life is perfect, it's all an act. The only time I'm happy is if I'm with my mum at home, but that barely happens, considering she lives in Australia right now and is directing a movie. I wish people knew just how I was feeling, and how restricted I was.

There was once an article which was written by a thirteen year old, about how much I saved her with my music. I followed her and publicly tweeted her for everyone to see. That's what I want to do, I want to make people see it's worth it. But how can I do that now with no inspiration to live? Think even mum has forgotten about me. There's one thing that keeps me going, that's the fans. But there's a certain someone, him. He doesn't know I notice him, but I do, even his fan mail, I've kept a letter or two. He's inspirational and believes, but he's also very naive. Thinking life is great for me while he is moping around asking for my attention. Wrong boy...
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Finally. I arrive at my new flat. They wanted to move me to stupid Birmingham. I get scared of the place, probably because of its reputation, it's one of the most dangerous places in the UK to live.

I guess they really want to get rid of me, sending me here. It's nice though. It has a modern but small kitchen which is in black and has a small island in the middle. A living room which is in cream colour and my bedroom which is huge. It overlooks a bit of land and is in red, my favourite colour. It also has an en suite, nothing bad then? I just might grow to like it here.

I go back into the kitchen and open the fridge, they've supplied me with enough food for months, so they think I'm going to have a massive party in this small modern flat? Trust me, I'm not.

A few hours later I'm bored out of my mind, and management did say they wanted me to bond with the fans.

@RitaOra: How about a twitcam follow spree? 😘

As soon as I tweet it I get responses, so I set up my MacBook which has already been connected to the wifi and start.

"Hey guys, tweet me some questions and I'll answer them, and I'm also going to give you a tour of my new flat, since I've moved!" I smile; and see loads of comments pop up on twitcam and people tweeting me on my phone. "Let's show you around..." I take them around and show them how I put all my clothes into the massive walk in wardrobe and the room, the living room and kitchen, where I then stay and sit on a stool by the island.

"Okaii, let's answer some questions," I smile and scroll through my phone. "Where did you move to from @Zenna, well Zenna I've moved from London to Birmingham," I keep smiling. I answer some questions about music and hobbies, before telling them that I'll do a follow spree as soon as I get off, to get #Rita'sTwitcamQuestion trending. I turn off twitcam and stay on my phone answering some other questions and following. That's when I see a tweet, that I'm actually happy to see...

@BradleySimpson: You in Birmingham? You're closer to me, you've brought my hopes up💕

That's when I do something that I wasn't allowed to...
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what do you think she did?
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Maggie (ILoveYouBraddyBoy) xox