Just Let Me Love You

Twenty Five - Just Ice

Beige Crimona Samaniego

After that series of photos taken by those two young girls, we sat in silence for a moment long enough for me to get used to the silence between us without feeling awkward. Sa totoo lang, hinihintay ko lang na bumalik sila kuya para mailibre na nila ako at nang makauwi na kami.

But Ice wasn't done with what he's supposed to do.

"I want to say sorry," he said.

I looked at him and saw him staring into nothing. Umiling siya saka ako tinignan. "Why?" I ask. "What are you apologizing for?"

"For blaming you of my heart ache," he smiled. His smile is as melting as a hot choco in a cold night. "Nagalit ako nang marinig ko yung sinabi mo sakin kagabi. I got mad at you, but more so, I got mad at myself. And I'm sorry for that. I was stupid for feeling so. Wala ka namang masamang intensyon sa sinabi mo."

He moved closer to me and leaned forward as he rested his elbows on his knees. "In fact I want to thank you," he said. I looked at him and he did the same. "For being honest with me."

He grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers together. I didn't try to refuse and fight against what he's trying to do. Hinayaan ko nalang siya. He lifted it and planted a soft kiss on the side of my hand he is holding. "Thank you, love."

He looked at me once more and I just showed him my faint smile but in fact, I am slowly tearing up inside. Seeing him this sincere just brings me to tears; and I don't want that.

I don't like how much he's affecting me but I can't stop it from happening. Habang tumatagal, mas lalo akong nahihirapan na pigilan ang mas lumalalim na nararadaman ko para kay Ice.

I'm not saying that I'm still determined to control my feelings for him, ayoko lang na bumilis ang mga pangyayari. Mas maganda kasi na mangyari ang lahat nang may sapat na oras. Kasi lahat ng minamadali, agad ding nawawala, and I don't want that to happen, kung sakaling siya na nga ang para sakin.

Biglang nag-ring ang telepono niya at napangiti siya ng mabasa kung sino ang tumatawag. Napataas naman ang kilay ko dun? Kasosorry lang sakin lumalandi na agad sa iba? Agad akong bumitaw sa pagkakahawak niya sa kamay ko pero hinigpitan niya lang ang hawak niya dun habang nakangiting sinagot ang tawag.

"Kuya Baste," he said.

Nilingon ko siya. Baste? Sebastian? Si kuya?

Nakangisi siya sakin habang tumatango-tango sa kausap sa telepono. "Yes, I was able to talk to her. Thanks."

Napanganga ako sa narinig ko.

"Yes," he chuckled. "Ako na bahala. And of course I'll drive her home--what? Are you insane? No. I won't do that! How can you--agh fuck it. I'll hang up. Thanks again." Umiling-iling siya saka binaba ang tawag.

"What. The. Hell," was all I was able to say.

He now held my hand with both of his saka ngumiti sakin. "We're gonna go on a date."

I blinked a million times at him. "What?"

"You heard me. I'll take you on a date."

I grunted. "Wait a minute," pigil ko sa kanya. "I just found out that you talked with kuya to set me up for this conversation when in fact I could still be sleeping my ass off at home until now." Tumatango-tango lang siya habang nakangisi parin. "And now, you're dragging me on a mock date? Are you serious?"

He just nodded, like a young boy, still smiling. "And love, this isn't a mock date. It's just a sign our spontaneity." He wiggled his brows.

Hindi niya parin binibitawan yung kamay ko and I don't think may balak siyang bitawan yun. Inirapan ko lang siya. "No," I sternly said.

He didn't seem to get affected with what I said because his grin grew wider. "That's what you want ha," he said.

He let go of my hand at nagulat ako nang lumuhod siya sa harap ko. Yung luhod na isang tuhod lang.

Agad ko siyang hinampas-hampas. "Huy Ice, ano bang ginagawa mo?" Bulong ko sa kanya. "Tumayo ka nga dyan!" I hissed as I tried to pull him up to his chair.

"Not if you go on a date with me," he said.

I grunted. "Ice! Ano ba! Tumayo ka dyan!" Was all I could say as he won't move from his position. "Ice ang dami nang nakatingin!" Medyo paiyak na ko nang makita kong ang dami nang nakatingin samin.

"Hey," he cupped my face and let me focus my eyes on him as he tried to calm me down. He raised his eyebrows to me. "Look at me, hey," he said softly.

I tried to look only at him at dahan-dahang bumagal ang pagtibok ng dibdib ko sa kaba na marami na ang nakatingin samin from the scene we're making. I can't believe this guy could make my heart beat superbly fast but could also calm it down to relax me.

After some moments, he smiled and let go of my face, as he held my hand once more. He smiled again and it just made my heart skip. I can't believe I would ever use that phrase to describe what I feel, but those are the only words that could exactly describe how I felt when I saw him smile.

"Beige Crimona Samaniego," he paused. "Will you go on a date with me?"

And all at once, my heart began to race. Why do I suddenly feel nervous? Why do I feel giddy? Why is my breathing getting heavier and harder for me?

I tried to make out the word I am supposed to say, but instead I felt a choke on my neck. And now, why can't I say no?

I overheard a couple talking to each other. And hindi ko alam kung ano mararamdaman ko.

"Dad, look oh. That was also the exact spot where you proposed to me, remember?" The wife asked.

"How can I forget? You were red as tomato back then," her husband teased.

Jusko po Lord. Mapagkamalan ba naman daw ito isang proposal? Pwede bang lamunin na ko ng lupa ngayon?

Pero kung ganito kagwapo nga naman ang kaeksena mo, why not?

Aish, hinde! Erase, erase! Wala akong pake! Kahit na pinapantasya siya ng ibang mga babae, hinde!

Nang tignan ko na si Ice, ang lakas ng tulo ng pawis niya sa noo. Nakanguso na din siya sakin at nakabugnot na ang mukha. Tumawa ako. Ang cute cute niya tignan! Para siyang bata.

"What now?" He asked, pissed.

Medyo kumalma muna ko bago ako nagsalita. "Wag kang atat," bumelat ako sa kanya. Medyo napapangiti na siya pero nakanguso pa din.

I stopped laughing and just smiled at him. He smiled at me too.

Saka ako umirap sa kanya. "Oh, fine," I said, finally.

Sabay sabay na naghiyawan yung mga nanonood samin. Shit, nakakahiya talaga. Naman kasi eh, agaw ekesena pa tong si Ice!

He showed me his widest grin saka hinalikan yung likod ng kamay ko. I can't help but blush with what he did. Bakit ang laki padin ng epekto ng ganung galaw niya sakin? Para simpleng halik lang eh.

"Thank you, love."

Hindi ko din mapigilang hindi din ngumit ng pagkalawak-lawak. Damn, I don't want to speak to soon, but I'm loving what we are right now. And I don't ever want us to end. Not ever. Kahit na pumukaw siya ng napakaraming mata sa ginawa niya kanina, he managed to make me happy. And because of that, I'm happy for having Ice. Just Ice. I'm happy for having him.