Just Let Me Love You

Thirty One - He and I

Beige Crimona Samaniego

"Go to practice," pamimilit ko sa pang-ilang bese na kay Ice.

Nakaupo siya sa carpet sa harap ng TV ko at naglalaro ng Xbox.

"Don't wanna," sagot niya habang di maalis ang tingin sa screen.

And I'm not sure how much I've already sighed because of him.

I was told by my doctor to rest. I'm having attacks because of stress. And it's really natural that my attacks occur days after I've had the stress. Kaya ako nilagnat. Kaya hindi ako pumasok para sa practice ngayong araw.

At ayaw niya pa ding umalis. He told me he has been here since yesterday. Yes I remember him barging into my room, but the rest was a blur because I couldn't comprehend much of what had happened then. The next thing I knew, I woke up with my hand in his habang naka-ubob siya sa gilid ko.

My parents, as well as his, didn't mind. Ako lang ba ang naiinis na hindi mahigpit ang mga magulang namin? They trust Ice so much.

I am still in a state of shock right now so I couldn't really ask him all I wanted to know. My doctor also told me to not tire myself until I've fully rested, and if possible, not to engage into any straneous activities and quarrels.

That's one reason why he's been living the time of his life until now; because I shouldn't quarrel for worthless things, that I'd better reserve my energy for getting better rather than on nonsense arguments.

"Be grateful I couldn't sermon you or else you'd rather have your ears fall off if ever.." I told him. I was resting my head on my headboard with a book on my lap.

He shrugged. "As long as I could feel you, it wouldn't matter. You don't have the angelic voice, but you are the angel I'd want to guard me always."

Kingina mo Ice. Bakit bigla-bigla ka nalang humihirit ng ganon? Wala man lang paalam?

Binato ko yung mukha niya gamit ang unan na pinakamalapit sa kin. Hindi parin siya natinag at nakapoker face pa din. Binelatan niya lang ako saka bumaling uli sa paglalaro sa Xbox.

"Go to practice," sabi ko uli.

He shook his head. "Don't wanna," sagot niya parin na parang bata.

"Then at least go home," sabi ko. "Baka mahawa ka pa sakin eh."

Bigla niya akong nilingon nang may nakakalokong ngisi. "Concerned for me, eh?"

Inirapan ko lang siya. Sira ulo talaga. Yabang.

"No. Baka kasi ako pa maging dahilan ng lagnat mo, if ever."

Ipinatong niya yung mga braso niya sa kama ko, nasa may paanan ko siya, saka ipinilig ang ulo pagilid. "Kung sakali, wala na yun sakin. Kasi wala pa ang lagnat sa kalingkinan ng sakit na nararamdaman ko mula sayo."

Napatitig uli ako sa kanya. His face was innocently looking at me. He wasn't smug looking. He wasn't smirking either. It wasn't the blank face he's been showing lately. It was just plain and innocent, as if just purely declaring an opinion.

Pero masakit. It hurt me because he's hurt. At dahil yun sakin.

Agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin. He shouldn't see me get affected. Not now.

"Wh-what are you saying?"

He didn't speak for a while. But later on broke the silence.

"Nothing."

I turned to look at him but saw his back already facing me and he was back playing.

I sighed. Why does he make everything so fcking complicated for me?