Tybee Island

I'm so sorry.

I walked over to the kitchen table sitting opposite dad clutching my glass. 'Why can't you sleep?' 'Because I feel like crap' I replied bluntly. Dad looked back at me almost full of pity. Without saying another word I took mom's crumpled letter out of my dressing gown pocket sliding it across the other side of the table. Sarcastically I murmured 'Know anything about this?!' Picking up the letter I observed dad's reaction,his eyes following each sentence written carefully and slowly. 'No. I had no idea..'

Grabbing the letter back from him I bravely said 'Quit the crap father'. 'Lana. I didn't know anything about your mother writing a letter. I knew just as much about this trip as you did.' I paused unsure of what I was going to do or say next. Coldly I responded with a brief 'Ok'

Dad cleared his throat. 'About today?' 'What about it?!' 'Did you take the key chain?' Why did he immediately assume it was me.. couldn't I ever be the victim? 'No. I didn't. I guess I've made some enemies in less then a full week of being here.' 'And why is that?' he questioned me as I continued to sip the remainder of my milk. 'Because I'm a horrible person' I said full of honesty and regret.

'I'm here to help lana.' I stared in disbelief rolling my eyes. 'Thats funny because where were you for the last 12 years?' 'Some things are so hard to explain.' he responded pathetically. He was such a wimp. 'And you know I wouldn't have chosen by choice to miss my little girl grow up' 'It's always excuses dad. Did you ever consider how crappy I've been feeling for the majority of my life. I always have thought it's ME. TAKING EVERYTHING OUT ON MYSELF.'

'Skipping school..smoking and drinking. They make me forget. How much of a looser and a horrible daughter I must be for being responsible for my OWN father to walk out on me..And Mom? I've treated her like a dog..wait..WORSE then a dog. And know I feel like the damage has already been done.'

Tears were running down my face and I was breathing extremely heavily. I put my head down in shame. I got up from the table stuffing the letter back into my pocket. I made no eye contact with Dad hoping he'd let me escape. As I began to go up the stairs he grasped onto my wrist.

He had tears in his eyes. 'I'm so sorry.' he whimpered seeming so fragile and vulnerable. I didn't know what to say. Instead I pulled him into a hug crying harder into his chest.