This is life.

89 ➤ Hardship

A/N: Bit of a shitty (but suspenseful) chapter bc its past 1am but hey at least I'm back hehe the end of this chapter has been in my head for a while and not conducted too well but trust me the next chapter will really mess with your heads, I'm the fucking creator of the events in this book yet I blow my own mind with what I come up with sometimes lmao
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P.S- omg I'm moving next week! I've already started packing I'm so excited!!!

"I never want you to do that again." I shout. "I don't understand what the problem is." "The problem is that when we first started dating and you did all of this for me, it exploded in my face! Whenever I accept these huge gestures I just know that it always leads to something bad. So please, no more gifts like this, especially when you don't have a reason." Jason sighs and hugs me from behind. "I just want to spoil you." "You'll never understand how I feel about this, Jason. I'm my own person and I need to be independent. This is why I still work and why we don't live together again yet. It's because I need to learn how to be on my own." "I'm sorry that I upset you." He runs a hand through my hair and I bite my lip. "I know that you mean well but...I'm just never going to make as much as you and I'm fine with that." "Then-" "Even if you have all the money in the word it doesn't mean that you need to spend it on me. I can't, I just, can't accept these type of gifts, okay? Please don't do anything like this anymore." "Duly noted."

I let go of his hand and get out of bed. "Where are you going?" "I'm getting a glass of water. Do you want one?" "Sure." I leave the bedroom and as I enter the kitchen I hear the front door close. I had left Keith in the lounge room where he was on his iPad to occupy himself while Jason and I talked. He doesn't pay attention to me as I retrieve the jug of water from the fridge and pour two glasses for Jason and I. "Do you want some water Keith?" I ask. "No thank you." He doesn't look up from the screen as he seemed to be very concentrated. I put the jug of water back into the fridge and bring Jason his glass of water, as I took a drink from my own which I held in my opposite hand. He thanks me but was paying attention to whatever was on his phone. God everyone is so consumed with technology. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I know that you mean well and that I can sometimes overreact." He looks at me before shaking his head and brought his arm around my neck to pull me towards him. "I should be sorry. I only think of what I assume you want but I should take into consideration that you're not fond of these types of things anymore." We kiss for a moment and I sigh as I run my hands in his hair. "I love you." I sing. "I love you too."

Weeks pass and my relationship with Jason grew stronger. Due to that discussion over a month ago about his unhealthy habits he has taken my advice and has done everything in his nature to promote his physical and mental health. He can't deny that what's happened in this past year has partially destroyed the two of us. But what doesn't kills us makes us stronger, I suppose. But despite all he continues to smoke, which is something that I understand is highly addictive and so I'm patient with the process of him quitting, even if it's lengthy. Jason and I still haven't moved back in together simply because it doesn't feel organic. A decision so big doesn't need to be rushed, I'm sure it'll happen in due time as long as we feel comfortable.

Keith, for the past two days has been distant. Up until recently he has been an absolute angel. His grades are exceptional, his manners are always present and I enjoy is presence. I'm still waiting for that moment where I forget to pick him up after school like a typical stressed parent.

As I was saying for the past two days Keith has been keeping to himself. He started to do his homework in his room as opposed to at the kitchen table like he used to do. One night a few days ago Jason wasn't over and I woke up to use the bathroom. I saw Keith standing in the kitchen. I remember seeing a glass of water in his hand so I didn't bother asking as to why he was awake, however I also rmembered the smell of smoke in my apartment. As if someone had been smoking a cigarette. Which was ridiculous since I have quit since Keith has been in my life and Jason knows to only smoke if and when he isn't over at my apartment. There haven't been any traces of cigarettes in my apartment for well over a month.