This is life.

42 ➤ Not necessary

(the gif on the side literally makes me cry)

Britney Patterson+

When I wake up all I can feel is my numb mouth, my tongue in particular is on fire. It's throbbing, in pain and I'm almost at tears due to the feeling. I look around to see I'm still in the same hospital room. I grunt as I shift my incredibly sore body to let my arm reach over my head and blindly find the button to call the nurse. I think about my actions for a second, but settle on considering this a good decision. I press onto it once I feel a button, it lets out a small buzzing noise and I silently pray it's the right button. Less than two minutes pass before I see the same male nurse from earlier enter the room. I see an ipad mini tucked under his arm for some reason.

"Morning, sunshine." He greets softly.

Not to be rude at all...but it's obvious that he is gay. Or at the very least, bi, judging from his very feminine tone and strangely perfectly groomed eyebrows. "Wha..." I stop talking when I realise it just caused the pain on my tongue to intensify. That's so strange. Why, out of all things would my tongue hurt? "Don't talk honey, use this, the doctor told me you would need it." He hands me the ipad mini.

When I manage to grab it he helps me sit up slowly, letting the somewhat large device sit on my lap. When I feel comfortable I notice the ipad is already opened on a new note for me to use. I type into it carefully to avoid typos with my index finger and for the other hand my middle finger since that hand's index finger has a pulse oximeter attached to it.

'What happened to me?'

He reads it quickly before answering. "You had a seizure, honey. You almost bit your tongue off. You had to get stitches." A seizure? That's new. I try moving my tongue again but this time paying enough attention to feel the tasteless piece of material that was sewn in zigzags patterns.

"That was just over two hours ago." He says. 'When will the stitches be taken out?' I typed. "Yours are dissolvable; doctors thought it would be more convenient considering you're not going to want people touching your tongue any further. It will disappear by tomorrow or the other day." I nod before beginning to type again. 'What is it I'm tasting?' "That's antiseptic for your inside mouth cuts, you must've also bit yourself, I suppose." Ah yes, I remember. Although not quite like that.

Another question pops in mind and I don't hesitate to ask it.

'What am I being treated with right now?' He smiles awkwardly at my question before looking up at the ceiling, most likely trying to find a way to answer it without having me panic or something. I stare at him expectantly, waiting for a response.

"Vitamin B, folic acid, pain medicine, fluids to help your hydration, fluids to help your lack of food, sleep medicine to help you rest, medication to prevent infection or bacteria to your wound and more for others reasons that I'm not really sure of." Something inside of me snaps when he finishes talking. I throw the ipad across the room in frustration and he gives me a concerned look. I grunt as I carelessly rip each and every IV inserted into my body, throwing each of them onto the floor beside the bed.

"Oh my god what are you doing?" He panics. "I do-n't n-ee-d yo-ur st-upi-d med-ica-tio-n!" I yell. My throat is dry and scratchy, my tone only made it worse. Not to mention my speech was more than sloppy, my tongue wouldn't work with my fast words, not to mention that every time my tongue touched the roof of my mouth it would withdraw out of reflex.

Some of them came out slurred and the others came out broken. But I didn't care. I just need to get my point across. "I wan-t t-o l-eave, n-ow!"

These people aren't helping me. They aren't taking away the pain, they aren't giving me any solutions, they're not making me forget, and they are only wasting my time by keeping me here. I don't have a plan on where I am to go, when and why, but I just know right now this isn't the place for me. The sooner I leave the better.