This is life.

30 ➤ Warm

I woke up with a smile as I felt warm blankets around me. I huddle them closer and hug them with a sigh. Have you ever woken up warm on a chilly winter morning? Best feeling ever. Wait...oh no. I fearfully open my eyes slowly as I starred at a familiar white ceiling. I'm in the room I first woke up in when I was brought here. But why? I remember taking a bath but... Jesus man, how many times am I going to pass out? This is getting annoyingly consecutive.

A soft knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. I debated on whether to answer it or not but Amy came in before I could decide. "Hi." She greeted with an easy going smile. "Uh...hi." I said softly, I sat up and pulled the blanket up to my neck. "You alright?" She asked. "Yeah...what happened?" I asked. "After an hour I got worried and came in. You were asleep in my hot tub." I wanted to face palm myself. I felt so embarrassed. Not about the fact that I feel asleep in her hot tub but more about the fact that she saw me naked.

"I dressed you and put you to bed." She continued. I let the blanket fall down to my waist and saw that I was in a pink tracksuit, probably hers. "I'm sorry. It's because of me you're so tired." She said weakly. "You might have a fever." Amy whispered. She put her cold hand to my forehead and I remained silent, not really having anything to say. She sighed. "I'm really, really sorry we got off on the wrong foot." She apologised, sounding surprisingly genuine. "It's alright." I lied blankly, not really caring, though it seemed that she on the other hand, cared a lot. "No, I can tell there's tension around us." She said. No shit. "And I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable." Amy insisted. It sounded as if she intended on me to stay. "Let's take our minds off of everything and just go and eat dinner, okay?" She suggested. I wanted to turn down her offer but nodded, dinner sounded good right now. I was really hungry, can't even remember the last time I had a proper meal.

I pulled the covers off and let Amy take my hand as she led me outside of the room, despite the weird feeling. I mean I have held plently of girls hands before, but that was when I knew it wasn't in a romantic way, this just felt peculiar. "What time is it?" I asked. I noticed it was pitch black outside the windows. "8:45pm." Amy said. She let go of my hand and gestured for me to sit down at the table once we were in her large dining room. "What's the date?" I ask cautiously as she left the room. "The 11th." She half yelled. I frowned as I fought back tears. It's Jason's birthday.

God I miss him. I was going to give him the ring today. I was going to give him, I don't know, birthday sex or something, maybe we could've made up by now. I was kind of looking forward to this day. But now that it's here, I despise it with a fiery passion, being at this point alone with her. This just motivates me more on wanting to get out of here. I let out a quiet chuckle when my sleeve runs up a bit and I see my tattoo. I run my finger softly over my Jason's name on my wrist, feeling how cold my cold skin is during the process. I frown and my hands drop to my lap and sat there motionlessly. I did nothing but stare at them sadly in silence.

I wish I was dead. Maybe I should commit suicide. Save myself from any further pain. I scoffed at myself. Figures that I want to quit, I'm such a pussy. Come on! I told myself. Have a little faith! Stick to your plan on surviving I tried to encourage myself, but I was quite uncaring to my own dedicated words, I should take my own advice, but it's easier said than done. And killing her, is probably going to be very hard, I don't think I have it in me to take someone's life just like that, even if it's for my own. I looked up to see two plates of what looked like stir fry noodles laid out in front of me.

I guess I was too focused in my thoughts to notice Amy coming back in. A few seconds later Amy came back in with two cans of coke. She handed me one of them and I raised an eyebrow. "No alcohol." She told me strictly as she handed me the coke. "Why?" I asked. "I don't want Nicole coming out. One drink almost always leads to another, I don't want you to go on another emotional roller coaster." I really couldn't be stuffed at all putting in the effort to argue so I simply sighed and took it from her before setting it down on the table.