This is life.

81 ➤ Mentality

As Britney was the first to fall asleep, I get my phone out of the pocket of my grey dress pants and send a message to Emma, to let her, our other sister and our mother that I won't be coming back until tomorrow and that they can expect to extend their stay in the city. I set my phone down on the closest nightstand before falling asleep with my right arm draping over Britney's figure lightly. When I wake i realise that as a result of sleeping in the late afternoon late at night has led to me having energy and waking up at 3:30am. I feel Britney's arms wrapped around my neck. Although the weather is already warm I enjoyed the heat that radiated off of her. Many know that I am not a fan of sharing a bed, but there has always been and will only ever be one exception.

I sigh and don't move from my position, fearful of waking her. But my attempt becomes pointless when I hear her exhale loudly. "You stayed the night." Her voice is another expression of her new found happiness and I kiss her forehead. "Of course. I want to spend all the time that I can with you. Good morning, by the way." "Aw that's sweet." She smiles widely. "It's not morning what time is it?" She looks out the window to see nothing but darkness. "3:32am." She removes one of her arms from me and leans over my body to turn on the lamp to dimly light the bedroom and allow for us to see eachother properly. She then takes her phone out of the left pocket of her shorts to validate the time. "Not exactly morning. But my sleeping pattern is going to be messed up for a while anyway so I might as well get used to this feeling."

"I can agree with you on that." As I talk I let out a suppressed yawn. "I'll be back. I want to change my clothes and wear something more comfortable." She rubs my chest once before leaving the bed and opening her wardrobe. I admired the view very intently. I watch as she takes out a white t shirt and a pair of black track pants. She holds the items of clothing in her arms as she turned around. I notice her stitches poking through her singlet. "Because of you I forgot to take a shower like I planned." She tsks. "What are you looking at?" She looks down before biting her lip. "I didn't even notice that you could see it." She seemed fed up as she ran her hand through her blonde hair. "Whatever. I'll be done in twenty. I won't be mad if you fall back asleep because I probably would." After she leaves the room I let myself relax. I check my phone and realise that I've recived four new messages.

Emma- Where did you go? It's been almost two hours. (5:40pm)
Emma- If you're not coming back then who's place are you sleeping over at? (5:45pm)
Emma- As if you even know anyone in this city (5:49pm)
Mom- Your sister told me that you're not coming back tonight. When are we leaving?! I'm so confused. Call me whenever you can, honey. I need to know that you're safe. (6:32pm)

Because it is extremely late, I withhold replying to either of them and make a mental note to talk to them whenever they wake. Which most likely won't be until 8am at the earliest. I set my phone back down and as I do so I pay no attention to where my arm is going because I am still half asleep. I drop my phone onto the floor but don't care enough to reach down and pick it up. Instead I leave the device in its position as I rub my eyes to keep myself awake. I know for a fact that I'm not tired, I have a tendency to fall back alseep right after waking up if I don't physically get out of bed the second I open my eyes. It's a constant battle, really.

A total of forty minutes pass before the feeling of worry multiplies in me and I end up not being able to fall back asleep, despite still being drowsy. I get out of the bed and use my crutches to exit the bedroom and search for her. My search doesn't last long when I see her in the kitchen with a cup of some sort as she ate out of it with a spoon, on her face was a sheepish expression. "I got hungry." She confesses. I shake my head to let her know that I don't really think much about it. "What are you eating?" "Yoghurt." I sit at her bench and watch her for over three minutes, when she finishes she throws the plastic cup in the trash and puts her spoon in the sink. "What are you going to do?" "I don't understand what you're asking." "About us? How are we going to make long distance work? I don't want to move, you don't want to stay here-" "Who said I didn't want to stay here?" I interrupt her, and she looks at me sceptically after hearing my question. "You would stay here?"