This is life.

53 ➤ Will power

Britney Patterson+

Awkward is an understatement. Am I uncomfortable? Yes. Feeling perplexed? Definitely. And now you're wondering why? I reunited with a certain someone in the last few days. And it hasn't exactly been pleasant. But at the same time it has been very interesting.

10 days earlier-

"I don't f-I really don't freaking care!" Rachel screams into her phone. "Get it done." She finishes before hanging up. I was currently using her laptop to research the closest abortion clinic. I'm not too sure what Rachel believes I'm doing but she certainly doesn't suspect anything with the amount of stress work has given her. I take her tone on the phone as a sign she was close to breaking point.

"I fucking hate the marketing process of being a fashion designer." She sighs as she takes a seat next to me on the sofa. I quickly exit the tab and reopen the cell PowerPoint I had made earlier. "I hate when you do that." Rachel commented when she caught sight of the screen. "What?" I ask innocently. "What's up? Whenever you're overthinking you go over the biology shit you learned back in school." She claimed. "No I don't." I said defensively. "It came to a point that the definition of mitochondria was permanently imprinted into my mind. It still is, by the way." She laughed. "What is it then?" I challenged jokingly. Sighing dramatically, she answers my question when she realises I wouldn't let it go. "The powerhouse of the cell, in otherwards the main energy source that's required for a single cell to survive." I smile in approval. "And how can you tell the difference when an animal and a plant cell?"

"Cell wall and chloroplast." She sang with a wide grin. I pet her head and she pushes my hand away. "Why did you want to borrow my laptop again? I doubt you just wanted to revise this shit. You've got it in your head like second nature."

"Job h-" "Oh." I didn't exactly grow upset knowing Rachel couldn't get me an occupation at her work place. In fact I was rather pleased, knowing I would most likely feel very uncomfortable working in that type of environment. Especially considering how I have no interest.

"What happened on the phone before that got you worked up?" I rubbed the back of her hand as I turned off the laptop, setting it down on the coffee table. "This newbie at my work couldn't understand what a fucking presentation meant. I told her- show my new client my new design. And do you know what this girl did?"

"What did she do?"

"She messed up the time schedule, and that made me look unprepared! Even more so since I'm not working today. God, my boss is going to have a bitch fit over this next week." She groans.

"How old is this girl?"

"Eighteen."

I laugh. "It's better to do what you want instead of asking others. Don't go off at the kid."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. "Do you want to eat some lunch?" I nod at her offer before standing up from my position. "There's this new restaurant down town back in Manhattan, apparently it's amazing."

"Manhattan? You really want to drive almost half an hour just to eat?"

"It's really popular." She exclaims. "And I'll drop you off when we finish?" She tries. "Alright. Let me get my wallet." I tell her. "Let me text Michael and tell him to meet us there." She says.

I stop in my spot and take a deep breath.

"Go and eat lunch with him." I spat coldly. Her expression changes as she looks away from the phone in her hand to pay attention to me. "Don't be like that."

"You make me feel like a third wheel, I honestly don't care that you're married- just don't involve me."

We argue a bit more, stating various reasons why and why we shouldn't have lunch together. It annoyed me mostly how she expected me to be okay, wanting to include in everything they did together. And that's when I decided to go ahead and buy myself a new apartment. I had already moved out, quite quickly may I add, considering I barely held any belongings with me. I went shopping and spent a good half a grand on an entire new wardrobe. Pitifully expensive? Yes. But you can't blame a girl when it feels so good to have new clothes. But what was depressing was the fact that I was now a size four instead of a size two. Quite sad, but it's the cons of holding a child inside of you.