Just Breathe [EDITING]

Chapter 6

I wake up with a numbing feeling in my chest. It feels like my heart is gone. No more beating, no more living. My heart has sunken down in my stomach, no longer able to survive or let me live happy ever again.

Getting out of bed was hard for me the second day of this horrible feeling. I head straight to the shower and hurry through it. I get dressed and then go straight downstairs.

"Hey, Alex." Says a familiar voice in the kitchen.

I slowly walk in the kitchen, making sure that I heard Adeline and not, you know, him.

I just stand there. There he is. Standing in the kitchen with Adeline. What the hell was he doing here? I didn't invite him.

"Before you get angry or anything," Adeline begins to say, "I invited him over. I wanted to talk to him."

I start to turn away.

"Alex, come back." Jonah and Adeline say at the same time.

I stop in my tracks. I slowly walk towards them, sitting away from them both.

"Alex, Jonah would like to say some things to you."

Jonah sits there and interlocks his fingers together. "I'm so sorry." He began. "I meant to tell you sooner, but I also didn't know I was going to move here, meet an amazing guy and fall madly in love with them."

I begin to tear up. I couldn't believe any of this still.

"I'm going back this week during spring break. When I see her, I'm going to make things right. I'm going to have time to decide who I want."

I just nod my head. "Is that all?" I ask, eager to leave.

"Yeah." Jonah says, putting his head down.

Hug him, Adeline mouths to me.

I just stand there.

She gives me a look that I know all too well. She really wants me to hug him.

I slowly walk over to him, take his hand and pull him into a tight hug, scared that if I let him go, I'll never get to have another hug.

***

Later that day, coming home from school, I look out my window and see Jonah leaving. Today started spring break for us and it lasts two weeks. I won't get to see him for two whole weeks while he is with a girl that he's apparently dating. I'm just stuck here thinking of all the things they are going to do together. She's going to be with the man I love.

I slump down in my bed and lay down. Tears start swelling in my eyes and I wipe them away. I still have this aching pain in my chest. It kills me, a lot. I never felt like this before.

***

Awhile later in the day, Adeline comes in my room.

"He just left. He asked me to say he will text you or call you soon."

I nod my head.

"Alex, please cheer up. It kills me to know you are hurting."

I just lay there and hide my face under the covers. "I hate this." I say, beginning to cry.

She sits down on my bed and lays down beside me. "It will be fine. I promise."

I hope she is right. I hope everything gets better soon.

***

A week into spring break and I still haven't left my bed all that much. Just the same old stuff since I found out about the whole thing with Jonah. Speaking of Jonah, he lied to my sister. He hasn't texted me nor called me. Just thinking of that hurts me more.

I get out of bed to try and eat something. I go downstairs and find Adeline sitting in the living room with some guy.

"Who's this?" I ask.

"Bryce." The guy says, standing up.

We shake each others hand.

I go to the kitchen and make a bowl of cereal. I sit down at the kitchen table and start eating. I feel a vibration coming from my pocket. I pull out my phone and get excited for a minute, thinking it was Jonah, but it wasn't.

"He text or call you yet?" Adeline asks.

"Nope."

"What the fuck." She responds.

I just set my phone down and finish eating. When I'm done, I set my bowl in the sink and then head back upstairs. While laying in bed, I think of something to do. I have to do something other than laying in this bed. As I'm thinking, I finally think to go to the tree house.

While I make my way over to the tree house, I walk through the woods for a minute and just think. Think of everything Jonah and I talked about and did. It was sad knowing that this happened, but it did.

I climb up into the tree house and look around. I see a whole bunch of papers sitting there on the floor. I go over and check them out.

It was a letter from Jonah.

Dear Alex,

I don't know how to say this and I don't know if you will even see these before I get back, but I am sorry. I really, truly am. I didn't mean to hurt you or not tell you. I should have.

During spring break, I'm going to make my decision, but I think I already made my decision, but I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know when I get back. I want you to know everything will get better. Sooner or later.

Please be happy for me. Please. Smile that beautiful smile and be yourself.

See you soon, Alex.

Love,

Jonah.

P.s. I'll try my best to talk to you while on vacation. My parents are weird about me using my phone, so they might not let me use it all that much. Just remember that I love you dearly, and I can't wait to see you again. I promise things will get better in time. Just let time do what it has to do, and I promise that things will fall into place.