Just Breathe [EDITING]

Chapter 34

Dear Jonah,

There's something about you that I just can't quite explain. You mean the world to me and I don't ever want to lose you. If I lost you, I don't think life would be the same. I would be lost and incomplete, and I would feel like there will be no tomorrow. Without you, I feel like I lost a piece of my heart. You're embedded in my heart like a tattoo and you will forever be there.
Remember when we first met? How awkward I was and how determined you were to be with me. You fought so hard for my attention unlike any other guy before. That's what made you stand out from the crowd. The compassion and perseverance you had. I just hope you remember eveything like I do. 
I also remember our first kiss. Wow, it was something else. It was like a thousand fireworks going off at the same time and feeling like a whole stampede of elephants tramping through my stomach. It was new and exciting, and I'm glad I got to share that experience will you. And I want to say that I know we have had some bad times in our relationship and we still will, but everything bad that happens between us will only make us stronger in the end. I also want you to know that I'm OK with it. It happens, and will happen. There's nothing we can do to change that. I will still love you no matter what.
There's one thing I want you to remember if we don't last:
I hope that someday, wherever you are and whoever you are with, there is something that reminds you of me.
No matter if it's the smell of coffee in the morning, because you know without it, I would be grumpy for the rest of the day.
Even if it is something of mine that you kept from years ago, because you couldn't stand to get rid of it.
Or maybe it's one of my favorite stores or a piece of clothing that I have worn before. Maybe even the scent of my favorite cologne.
Maybe it's the taste of your lover's lips, and somehow they remind you of me. Maybe you think that you miss my lips on yours or maybe the way they do something.
It could even possibly be a time in your life when you are all alone in bed at night and you miss my warm embrace. You miss having me by your side and feeling the warmth radiate off of my body and onto yours. 
No matter what it is, I hope that someday you think of me. I hope that I have a lasting impact on your life like you do to me.

I love you past the moon and back.

Forever&Always

                                                                ***

Adeline is at home with Caleb watching him for both Jonah and I. She told me that she wanted us to go out and have a good time and go on a date, something new. She told me that I've been stuck in the house for far too long now and we need some fresh air.

"You're so beautiful," Jonah says to me, looking deep into my eyes.

I blush blood red. "You are, honey."

He leans in and kisses me and just like our first kiss, I feel all those wonderful feelings again. It never goes away. It's a constant feeling that I get each time he kisses me. I love it.

For our date, we went to this fancy restaurant close to home. We both ordered the same thing: medium-rare steak and a side of fries with a Coke. Maybe it's because we both like the same thing, and were in the mood for the same thing. 

As we ate our food, we talked about the little things that have been happening in our lives. We talked about how we are grateful for all the people in our lives and how they have been there for us both throughout all of this, especially with the baby. He's grown up so much recently and it's great to see. I love being able to remember all the little details about him. 

Oh, we even talked about moving in together. We thought that it's time and best for us both to move somewhere together and try being on our own for awhile. I think my Mom and Adeline will miss all of us so much, but it's time for us to try and get our lives together. It really is best for us and I'm so excited to go through this time and life with the man I love the most. And our precious baby boy.

                                                                                ***

A couple of days later, both Jonah and I have been looking up houses for rent around town and seeing what we both could afford. This is seriously a wake up call in life. We would both have to find jobs and, for all I know, Adeline would love to babysit Caleb while both Jonah and I work. 

We found this little condo not far from where we live now and it's the cheapest house that we can afford from all of our savings put together, plus my Mom said she will help us both with things we need.

I decided to call the sales lady about the house and ask her some questions.

"Hello," a high-pitched voice answers the phone, "how may I help you?"

"Hi, my boyfriend and I are looking at your condo that's for rent and we are very much interested in it, but we wanted to ask some questions."

There was silence for a minute. "Okay, go ahead!" she says, cheerful.

"First, are pets allowed?" Jonah asks.

"Yes, but no more than three."

I nod my head. "What all appliances come with the condo?"

"Um, let me check." she says, and silence fills the line between us.

"Okay, all the appliances that come with the house are a stove, refridgerator, dish washer, and a washer and dryer."

Both Jonah and I smile and nod our heads. "Sounds great. We would love to set up a time to check it out."

"Delightful!" she says, all cheerful-like. "How does Wednesday at, hmm, around three-thirty sound to you both?"

"Sounds great!" we both say at the same time.

And at that, we hang up the phone. 

"I can't believe this is happening." I say, looking at my phone. 

"I know," Jonah says. "It's weird."

I nod my head, and then lean over and kiss Jonah. 

"You deserve the world, baby." I say in-between kisses.

"What do you mean, darlin'?"

"I mean that you deserve everything in life. You deserve the whole world in your hands, and you deserve every ounce of happiness you can sum up. You deserve that one person who will make you happy, who will kiss away your tears, and who will be there with you at night. You honestly deserve more than this whole world, but what I have at this very moment is all I really can give you." I smile at him with a wide grin, and then he kisses me over and over again.

"You know," he says, "I think what I have in my life right now--you, Caleb, and everything else--is my whole entire world. I wouldn't ask for anything more, or anything less. You have seriously made me want to be a better person in my life. I love you, Alex."

I blush. "I love you too, Jonah. Past forever and a day."

"Past forever and a day." he repeats, and then kisses me passionately.