I slept in Simons office that night on the floor. The sofa in his office wasn't very comfortable. Then again I didn't do much sleeping. My mind was still racing. The look of pain on Harry's face was replaying itself in my head. I couldn't believe what I had done.
I sat there waiting for Simon to come back. They were to tell me what was to come next this morning. As I got ready that was all I dreaded. My heart still aches. I couldn't believe I told Harry that. It wasn't true at all. If he only knew the truth.
What have I done?
"Good morning Jade. Are you ready to hear what I have for you?" Simon says with a hint of cheer in his voice. I nod my head. My gaze never leaving the floor. I couldn't even bring myself to speak.
What was left for me? What could he possible have now?
"Alright this is your home or apartment. It is still in L.A. Only because they would think of looking for you in your hometown. You are to have no contact with your family or old friends-" that wouldn't be hard. I did that for most of my life. I can do it again."-This is your new phone and everything has been adjusted. You will work at the local family owned market. It is run by a Margaret Jones. None of the people there know anything of you. The boys hairstyles, Lou, will give you a new look. Lastly you're new name and ID are here." I look down at the ID. Olivia. How quaint. I follow Simon to a room where Lou was to change my appearance.
"Why so glum sweetie?" She asks. I sigh, I have to fight the tears this time. I can't keep crying. Not anymore.
"I'm a terrible person." She pats my shoulder. "No you are not, others are. I'm sure the lads will understand." I look up at her. "You didn't tell them that you didn't love them." I sigh. Her eyes soften and she gives me a solemn look. "Eventually they will know." She says. "You're not going to tell them are you?" She shakes her head. "It's not my place. I just do hair." A little girl comes running into the room. She resembles Lou a bit. She must be her daughter.
"Hi what's your name?" I ask her lifting her onto my lap. I really couldn't understand her, but I think she said her name was Lux. "I'm..err.. Olivia. It's very nice to me you."
I play with her hair and she starts to giggle. She pokes my cheeks and every place on my face. "Olivia, Olivia, Olivia." She sings. I giggle and nod my head.
"You ever want children?" Lou asks me."No I have no clue how to be a mother." She laughs. "No one does until they have a child. That's the beauty of it." I still shake my head.
Lou finishes. She gave me an natural ombré look. I liked it. I wish I didn't have to change my appearance. I wave her goodbye and give Lux a smile and leave the room. I run into Simon.
"I'm sorry. I truly am, you understand right." I fake a smile. He hands me my keys. I refuse them. "They know my car. I'm pretty sure they know the plates too. I'll just walk or take the bus from now on." He sighs. "Suit yourself. You have to be at work by nine today. I'll have someone give you a lift."
The part of town they brought me to wasn't the best side of L.A. It's nothing I haven't seen before though. The market was old. The paint seemed to be chipping. It seemed as though it were a market downstairs and a living space upstairs. It had a type of welcoming feeling despite its appearance. Almost like home. I thank the man and walk through the doors. A bell rings. An elderly women with glasses stands up straight from behind the counter. "May I help you?"
"Yes. I'm Olivia. This is my first day on the job." She smiles and walks up to me. She gives me a warm embrace. "Oh, sweetie. Look at you, your beautiful. Simon has informed me of your troubles. Well your room is upstairs, but I can see you didn't bring anything. Thats alright, fresh start right? Well you can work the register today."
Margaret was very kind and gentle. I think she will make everything seem alright. I grab a red apron and tie it around my waist. I pull my hair back and step behind the register. The bell rings. This is day one of my new life. It seems fine, but we'll see.... we'll see.
***
I've been working for about a week now. They people I have met are so kind. They come in on a regular basis. "Here you are Mr. Brown. Tell the misses I said hi." I smile and give him his change. "Thank you Olivia." I've grown to like living here. But not a day goes by I don't think of Harry and the guys.
Margaret comes out from the back of the store. "So how's everything today?" She asked me this everyday. I never seemed to answer it correctly. "Well everything seems to be fine out here." She shakes her head. "Olivia, I ask you the same question everyday. Why do you think that is?" I shrug my shoulders. She gives me a stern look. "Because you want to know how I'm taking everything right? Well I'm getting by. Does it make me sad? Yes it does. I hate to sleep because it brings back memories." I say. "No one said love was easy." She smiles.
I turn on the T.V. "Well will you look at that." Margaret gasps. I look and it's the guys. They were being interviewed.
"Harry how have you been taking the break up between you and Jade?". The camera focuses on him. I stare at his green eyes. They stared back, looking into mine. "I wish we didn't have too-" he looks down at his palms. He clears his throat."-but everything happens for a reason." I sigh. I can see he is moving on. I'm glad.
"How is the new album coming along? There something in particular you have to say about it?" Why am I torturing my self. I lower the volume. "Wait you need to hear this. It's healthy." Margaret says. I laugh, returning the volume to its past state. "Well this happened to be one we really got into. It took some time to write, we just couldn't keep focused. When we found our muse everything came naturally." Liam answers. He talks with his hands a lot. I laugh at the thought of what was distracting them for so long. Or who.
"Where did the title 'Made in the A.M.' come from? What is this muse you referred too?" The camera man shifts his attention to Louis. Who is laughing. Why am I not surprised. "Actually we didn't come up with the name. We happened to be writing around 3 in the morning. Hence the a.m, but the one who pointed it out was our dear friend Jade." I don't remember every mentioning that. It brought a smile to my face though.
"As for our muse. That is to be kept a secret. Many things inspired us for this album, but that one thing we prefer to keep hidden. You just have to wait and hear." Niall was always having to keep secrets. I wish he would just say it instead of leaving people with anticipation, but I guess that was the point.
"How did that make you feel?" Margaret asks. "Better." Is all I have to say. I get back to work. It was true, partially. I did feel better over the fact that hey are moving on with their lives, so now I can too. I begin restocking shelves and checking out people's purchases. I keep about my day. Trying to keep my mind busy.
