Thug Love

Chapter 17

-LYRIC POV-
Since Sasha's death, Jacob decided to look online for a therapist. He found a highly recommended therapist and drove me to her today. "Why am I doing this?" He kissed my cheek. "Cause you need to get outta this depressed state." I shook my head. "I'm fine, I'm not depressed."

"You've been moping around the house for three days Leer. I think this is best for you." "Remember when you told me even if it comes to you, do what I think is best for me?" He nodded. "Yeah." I nodded. "So I don't think this is best for me."

"Right now I don't give a fuck about what you think. Your brain is all over the place." "It's not." He rolled his eyes. "Says the one who couldn't tell me two times two today. You're going in." I hopped out the car. "Fine." He shook his head. "I'll be back in an hour." I turned around and walked into the building. "I'm here for Dr. Ryann."

The lady nodded. "She'll be right with you." I sat down in a chair over the visit already. "Lyric Smith." I stood up and walked into her office. "Take a seat. My name is Dr. Ryann and I'll be your therapist." I shook her hand. "Lyric." She nodded and pulled out a file.

"So, why are you here?" I shrugged. "I don't... I thought my boyfriend told you all of this." She nodded. "He did, but I want to hear in your words why you think you're here." I nodded. "I've supposedly been depressed since my best friend died." She nodded. "Okay, do you feel depressed?"

I shook my head. "I mean, it depends on what depressed is." She nodded. "So how did you feel the day after your friend died?" "I felt like I had just been told I couldn't be happy for the rest of my left. It felt like part of me was missing." She nodded. "So that's what we call depression. You're not overly depressed, but you are.. or you were somewhat depressed. To this day, how are you reacting to her death?"

I was silent. "I haven't been talking much until I got here, I sat in bed all morning watching me and my beat friend's favorite TV shows, I've been thinking about her 24/7, looking at pictures of us, I haven't eaten for two days. I just lost my appetite."  She nodded. "So we can say you really miss her?" I nodded. 

"Yeah. And do you have siblings?" "One sister." She wrote something down. "So if you were to say your sister was killed, would you feel the same way about her as you did your friend, Sasha is it?" I nodded. "Yeah, I'd feel the same way." She nodded. "So you cared about Sasha deeply, she was your sister almost." I nodded.

"Mhm." She wrote something else down before giving me a piece of paper. "I'm going to give you three minutes and 30 seconds to write a letter to Sasha. Your task is to explain how you felt the first day you met her, how you felt all those years you were friends, and to conclude how you feel now and why you feel that way." She gave me a pencil.

"Begin." I started writing and it felt like my pencil couldn't stop writing. I never knew I felt this much towards Sasha. It's like all of my feelings towards Sasha are now coming out. The time went by very slowly and eventually it was up.

"Now, read me this out loud, but pretend I'm Sasha." I wiped my eyes.

"Sasha we've been through thick and thin, high and low. We've been best friends since our third day of Kindergarten. You approached me sitting alone in the corner and asked if I wanted to be your friend. You made me feel appreciated and like someone cared about me. I was always the outcast who everyone called names because of my white mom and you're the only one who saw past this when we were little."

I wiped my eyes trying to catch every drop before it hit my paper. My hands started shaking. "Throughout our years of friendship you've always made me number one on your list and I regret putting you as my number two when I got in a relationship. I could've been spending more time with you, but I chose not to." She smiled. "You're almost done."

I looked at the last part and cried even more. "Now I feel empty as a jar. I feel like now I've lost my diary of secrets. You know things about me that no one else even knows about." I stopped. "I can't finish this." She moved herself to the couch and gave me a hug. "You got this. Tell Sasha how you feel." I sniffled.

"I can't." She nodded. "You can." I took a deep breath. "You've been my diary, best friend, and twin sister since we were five and to lose you now is too much for me to digest. I love you Sasha, Lyric." She smiled. "Good job, how do you feel now that you wrote this?"

"Uh, I feel like a little bit of weight was lifted off of my shoulders." She smiled and grabbed the papers from me "That was the point. To talk to her. How exactly did she die?" "She was shot." She nodded. "Has anyone else been shot that you're close to?" I nodded. "My dad and my mom got killed by a bullet."

I wasn't going to add in that Jacob got shot." She frowned. "That's interesting how did you feel about that?" "Umm, with my mom, I was too young to understand what was happening. My dad's death really hit me because I was a daddy's girl." She smiled. "I was one, too. I think that my dad's passing was the worst."

She looked at her watch. "So I told your boyfriend that we'll just start short today and next week we'll have an hour session." I nodded. "Ok, thank you." She gave me a hug. "You're welcome." I stood up and walked out. When I stepped outside Jacob was sitting in his car right in front of the door.

I got in the car a leaned back into the seat. "How'd it go?" He said as he drove off. "It was fine." He smiled. "Tell me more." "She made me write to Sasha and read it out loud and she got to the root of my quote on quote depression." He nodded. "Good."

He placed his hand on my leg. "Why'd you make me go? It's not gone work." He gripped my hand. "It'll work. I know it will. I had to do therapy when my brother died." I nodded. "You hungry?" I shook my head. "No."

"Lyric, you haven't eaten for two days." I nodded. "I know, I just don't have an appetite." He pulled into the Jack-In-The-Box drive thru. "Babe, I'm not hungry." He went up to the window and ordered chicken nuggets and curly fries. "Babe, listen to me, I'm not hungry!" He rolled his eyes.

"I don't care." He grabbed the food from the window. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms around my chest. He looked over at me and smiled. "What are you smiling at?" He chuckled. "You're so cute when you're mad." I rolled my eyes and looked out the window.

We pulled up into the driveway. "Let's go." I got out the car and walked in the house. "Sit on the couch." I followed his directions since I didn't have the energy to do the opposite. He gave me my food. "Eat." I started eating. I really couldn't finish my food and it felt like I was over eating. "I can't finish this."

He sat down next to me. "Yes you can." I finished eating with him laying on me.

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"Leer, I'm home." I hate a spoonful of ice cream. "Okay." He came upstairs. "When I told you to eat that don't mean eat three pints of ice cream. Are you watching 50 Shades of Grey?" I was silent. "Get up." I shook my head. "No, I'm comfortable right now." He picked me up and put me on my face. I slapped his chest.

"Jacob!" He went in my drawer and pulled out some workout clothes. "Put these on." I followed his directions. He put on some basketball shorts and held my hand. "Where are we going?" "To the gym." He grabbed two pairs of boxing gloves out of his closet. We walked to his car and got in before he drove off.

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"Wassup man, you brought somebody else today?" Jake nodded. "Yeah, Imma go work out, can you get her with some boxing?" My trainer, Kyle, nodded. "Alright bro." He helped me put the boxing gloves on. "What's your name?"

"Lyric." He smiled. "Nice, how you know Jacob?" I took a deep breath. "He's my boyfriend." He smiled. "Aight. So, let's start with a warm up. Just start with punching the pad I put up. Stay on your toes." He started moving around as I followed and punched every pad taking all my anger and hurt out into my punch.

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I hope you guys enjoy this!☺️ I try my best to keep the story going.

I have an idea of where the story is gonna fall apart and come back together, but y'all are my glue to make sure it stays up a lil bit. Please stick with me😉