By the time Hana got out of the washroom it was already 11:30 which meant she had less than an hour to get dressed and make it to the park before she crosses the dead line to their meeting. Putting on her shoes, she carefully descended the stairs, cautious to not make noise and attract the attention of the lady outside. She wanted to save her aunt the embarrassment of her niece catching her smoking and slipped out the back door but not before sticking a note which held her scribbles explaining the cause of her absence. Breeze brushed past her bare neck as she walked out the house and turned the corner towards the park. She was almost near her destination and she could see all sorts of rides for kids in the play area. The park was flowing with children running back and forth between rides with their mothers either running at their sides making sure their little angel won't trip or fall while some sat on the benches, witnessing their bundles of joy enjoy themselves from a safe distance.
Hana had her hands tucked inside the pockets of her dark grey jacket as she walked nearer to the park. Kids ran past her, chasing each other just for the sake of it and Hana could see women, most likely their mothers, scrutinizing every move their child made. The weather despite being a bit chilly was still lovely, the atmosphere was jolly and the bright laughter of children that filled the air was more than enough to put anyone to a good mood. Hana however, didn't think so. She didn't relish the feeling of the perfect day that was presented to her. Instead she was pained by the very thought of it. the shining sun was serving as nothing but a nuisance to her as it kept shinning in her eyes, the breeze made her regret not tying her hair as it was now her locks were flying wild and lastly, the giggles of the beings that surrounded her gave her nothing but pain and recollection of memories she tried so hard not to remind herself of. There was a cackle of laughter heard and instinctively turning towards it she saw a boy happily licking his chocolate cone while bursting into fits of mirth as he devoured the sweet dairy with his mother smiling affectionately towards her son and savoring the moment of her child's happiness. A high pitched shriek from another direction had Hana divert her attention from the heart-warming scene. She saw a little girl with red puffy eyes and a running nose sobbing hysterically while her mother blew on her daughter's knee that had been scraped due to an ugly fall, before enveloping her into a hug as she whispered soothing words into her daughter's ear. Such an affectionate exchange that was witnessed by Hana gave her no feeling of warmth. Memories of her mother tending her wounds flashed before her, of how her father used to give her a ride on his shoulders and take around the park. She found it ridiculous. She was envious of these children who probably hadn't even crossed the 10 year age mark; pathetic indeed.
She didn't want to shut off the sweet memories of her childhood, a childhood that was filled with nothing but joy and most of all, her parents. Looking at the little girl she remembered how her mother used to bake her favorite cookies whenever she was sad, or how her father used to take her out for sundae on every Sunday. He found it funny to have sundae on a Sunday and Hana remembered him laughing about it the first time he said the joke out loud while she and mother gave him judging looks.
She saw the affectionate exchange before her with great bitterness and asked God what sins she had committed that He took her parents away at such a tender age, just when she needed the warmth of her mother the most, just when she wanted to feel safe in her father's embrace. But it was all lost now and she believed it all to be her fault. If it wasn't for her stubborn attitude her parents would be right next to her.
She recalled the events of that ungrateful day with much vexation and clenched onto the fabric of her coat as she bit back every urge that provoked her to break down. But she could not- would not, allow herself to display her weak side in front of an audience, especially not in a public place such as a park with kids running around everywhere. Therefore she took a deep breath and slowly released it, creating a pattern of smoke as she did so and blinked several times to clear her eyes of any unnecessary liquid that may threaten to befall her cheeks before turning her back towards the playground, blocking it out of sight completely.
