The Rockstar Within Me

The Rock Star Within Me - Chapter 38

Copyright 2013

“Alice,” His voice was quiet. “I cheated on you.”

When I first heard the words fall from his mouth, it was like he was speaking another language.

“What?” I asked, completely unaffected by what he said.

He grabbed hold of my hands and engulfed them in his. His green eyes stared into mine with such intensity and such emotion that it hurt to continue.

I closed my eyes tight, breathing like those breaths were my last.

“I’m so sorry baby.” River’s voice faltered as he tried to apologize. “It didn’t mean anything! I’ve regretted it everyday since-”

“You… you… cheated on me?” The words started to register and my mind went into a deadly countdown.

“Baby, I didn’t-”

“Don’t! Do not call me baby.” My voice was venomous and I ripped my hands from his.

His face fell as I moved as far away as possible from him in the back of the small car.

I took a raged breath that sounded more like a cry.

“Alice-” He reached out to try and comfort me but the last thing I wanted at that moment was for him to touch me, now knowing that he had touched another. 

“Who was it?” I needed to know this.

He dropped his head.

“Alice, I swear it meant nothing-” He started.

“Tell me who it fucking was!” I yelled at him, tired of the deception.

“It was Jess!” River blurted out, but he winced in regret when he did.

I felt like I was falling. There was no car. No cement. No city of Paris. Just a pit of darkness.

River was saying something but I couldn’t here him. His voice sounded miles away, muffled and distorted.

My body convulsed.

“I think I’m going to be sick.”

Without thinking, I threw open the door to the car. I don’t know when the car pulled up to the hotel but it was a miracle that when I jumped out I landed on solid ground.

“Wait!” River called after me, but I ran quickly, with a motivation I’d never had before.

I darted through the lobby of the hotel, skipping the elevator and opting for the stairs instead. I couldn’t stand the idea of being stuck in a small space with strangers.

My feet dragged me up most of the flights of the stairs without much of a complaint; my mind slowed me down.

I had let myself fall in love with him! The voice inside my head reprimanded. I was in love with him! I had ignored his selfish behavior because of what? Because he paid attention to me?

I convulsed again, a small cry slipping out that echoed in the empty stairwell but no tears. As my mind raced, I lost my footing and tripped on a step. My hands were there to catch most of my fall but my head still struck an edge.

The pain was immediate. For a moment black dots covered my vision and I did my best to roll over into a sitting position, leaning my back up against the wall. My hand touched my forehead to relieve the pounding but when I pulled away my fingertips were disguised with blood.

“Great.” I said sarcastically to myself.

And just like that, I couldn’t hold it in anymore.