The Rockstar Within Me

The Rock star Within Me - Chapter 17

Copyright 2012

River looked across from me on the other side of the small table in the high end restaurant. He had plastered a fake smile on as he played with my fingers. His eyes willed me to play along with the facade he was trying to create, but I returned a blank stare.

I remembered the car ride here was filled with anxiety for me. The closer we came to our destination the more I felt like I needed to get out of the SUV and run back to the hotel. The idea of being purposely put on display in order to be scrutinized made my stomach twist. River, oblivious to my panic attack, drove silently, only occasionally turning the dial on the radio to find a better song. He looked disinterested and bored as he drove expertly with one hand on the wheel. But as soon as we pulled up to the black modern building that we would be dining at, River changed into the person he needed to be.

He jumped out the car, throwing the keys at the vallet and then helping me out on my side. He held my hand securely as he lead us into the restaurant, by-passing the handful of paparazzi that were furiously taking our picture. He kept his head down and held me close to his side.

Quickly and efficiently, a hostess led us towards a table near the back of the restaurant. River nodded his heads towards a few tables as we passed them; the people sitting at them rendered me speechless.

Everywhere there were athletes, celebrities, supermodels and very wealthy socialites. The room smelt of high class and I shifted uncomfortably, feeling unwelcome among these people. There was a couple hushed whispers from others looking on at us as we sat down but River ignored them, watching me.

And that lead to where we presently were.

The realization had hit us both; how were we going to go a whole meal talking to each other?

"Does it get hard?" I asked suddenly. "Being always in the spotlight?"

River looked taken back by the question, his confusion obvious on his face. He thought to himself for a moment.

"Alice, I've never known anything different. I've grown up like this, ya know?" He shrugged his shoulders, watching our intertwined fingers.

It was true. River's childhood was far from ordinary and he had lived under the public eye from as far as I could remember. It was pretty known that River's parents were John Johnson and Felicity Gardens. They were huge Hollywood actors. They had fallen in love quickly and gotten married just as fast only to get pregnant and divorced after one short year of marriage. The real drama began with the custody battle for River though. They used to publicly trash each other in order to make themselves look good.

I still remember my mother folding laundry in front of the tv and clicking her tongue at the horrible things either John was saying about Felicity or vice versa. It was horrible what happened even more so because River was the one that actually suffered. That was no real way to grow up and I honestly felt sorry for him.

"What do your parents think about all this?" I gestured to us.

With the mer mention of his parents, River let go of my hands and folded his arms in front of his chest. It seemed as if I had struck a cord.

"My parents are too wrapped up in their own lives to give a damn about how I live mine." He muttered, cutting the conversation short gesturing to a waitress to come take our order.

I blinked in shock at how quickly I had offended him.

"I'll have the chicken Caesar wrap, thank you." I murmured, feeling embarrassed.

The blonde waitress, nodded and turned to River going into full girlie, wide wide, flirty mode. She leaned over just ever so slightly and bat her eyelashes down at River. He gave her one of his signature grins, dimples and everything. I rolled my eyes. Get a room. Eventually, the obnoxious waitress left.