The Rockstar Within Me

The Rock Star Within Me - Chapter 40

Copyright 2013

Suddenly, there was new purpose in my life.

We were going to make an album.

Together, the three amigos had been hard at work writing and demoing as many songs as we could come up with. It had only been two weeks since we had become serious about producing new songs instead of just fooling around, covering songs we liked. We managed to start over two-dozen songs, but there was only so much we could do with the little equipment we had.

The mysterious ‘next’ stage of making an album was obviously new to us since we had never made a record before which lead to my apprehension to hit new levels.

What kind of album? Under what band name? What do we do afterwards?

Those questions constantly tugged at my mind, but I did my best to stuff every worry I had into a mental closet then lock the door behind myself. Except the door never stayed shut and anxiety seemed to seep through the cracks.

My knee shook as I listened to the latest song we had almost finished.

“Good, eh?” Drew smiled, pleased as he nodded to the beat.

I shrugged, trying to pretend it wasn’t as amazing as it was, but it was weak and sensing that something was up, Drew hit pause on his computer.

“What’s the matter?” Drew’s face was serious as he judged my reaction. “You’re knees shaking and your playing with your glasses all day; why so edgy?”

“Nothing.” I groaned, letting go of the glasses I didn’t realize I had been taping. I spun around in the chair only for Drew to grab a hold on the armrest and pull me back.

“Al, let it out.” He ordered, knowing that something was on my mind.

As if those words were the crack in the damn, all of it came flooding out at once.

“I’m scared to finish this album because I’m afraid of what comes next. I got everything screwed up before,” I paused, talking a breath of air. “What if I can’t undo it?”

Drew pulled me into a hug, and then chuckled.

“Do you think I’m being ridiculous?” I asked, mildly offended.

He pulled away, ruffling up my hair.

“Al, you are being somewhat unreasonable. Listen, you, Mason and I are a team. You did nothing wrong, so stop putting the weight of the world on your shoulders. We’re going to be fine. We have enough demos for two albums, so know our focus should be to actually record the ones we like. The record company is pleased so far so we can get the funds to rent a recording studio and get a producer.”

I frowned, realizing what he was going to say next.

“We’re going to have to go to L.A., aren’t we?” I questioned, dreading the answer.

Drew sighed. “Sorry, but no one’s going to buy an album made off my MacBook.”

I made a face, not wanting to accept the fact that I’d soon have to leave the safe haven that was Spain.

“Hey, you were the one that gave that very convincing speech about how we’re musicians. We’re making music Al, time to get some recognition for that.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I replied, rolling my eyes.

Drew gave a half smile, knowing that my anxieties were far from gone. What he said next, took me for surprise.