The Rockstar Within Me

The Rock Star Within Me - Chapter 41

Copyright 2013

Spain would forever be a paradise to me. It was a safe refuge when my mental stability was far from stable. The sun, the beach, the people all had helped me rebuild what it meant to be Alice and I would be forever grateful.

As we stepped off the plane in Los Angeles my body went into a panic, craving my small Spanish oasis. 

There were people everywhere, walking and talking, all so busy. There were individuals in suits yelling into their cellphones and families wrecking havoc on the airport terminal.

It was such a culture shock with just the airport that I was afraid of even stepping out of the building.

“Did you miss this?” Drew asked, standing beside me as we surveyed the scene.

I looked up at him skeptically.

“Did I miss crowds of angry people? No not really.” I answered, still a little dazed.

Before all of the drama began in my life a few months ago, I used to love LA. The sun and the atmosphere were so alluring compared to the blandness that was Cleveland most times. This was the city where dreams came true or dreams were crushed completely… something about this place was intoxicating in the same way people were drawn to slot machines; you never knew what you were going to get.

 I was sure that the initial differences between Spain and LA would eventually disappear, but at the moment the only thing I could notice were the differences.

“Well, let’s go I guess.” Drew said.

It was a different experience in an airport after all this time.

We were used to being swarmed with fans and the paparazzi but at the moment, no one seemed to be giving us a passing glance. Maybe hiding away in seclusion for a couple of months meant that our 15 seconds of fame were up.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.

Drew, Mason and I walked towards the receiving/pick up area of the airport.

As soon as we had touched the ground, Mason had been on his phone trying to get a hold of his ‘friend’ Maria. I still wasn’t sure about how serious the two of them were; Maria had cried when we left and Mason had looked devastated too but who knew if a long distant relationship would last, especially when Maria was so far away.

Seeing the two of them interact together was hard to watch. I missed the companionship, the quick glances, the embraces; just someone to always look out for you…

As we continued our walk through the airport, I couldn’t help but remember the last time I had been in this building. If I concentrated hard enough, I could feel River’s arm around my waist and I could smell his cologne…

Ugh. I hated remembering. I always became so much more miserable but I could never find the switch in my brain that turned off the memories. I felt like my mind was tattooed with the memories and it was heartbreaking to have to relive them constantly.

“Hey! Guys!” A loud booming voice called out.

I looked out into the crowd of people and saw a familiar tattooed man.

Jeff pushed through the people coming to meet us. He looked the same, the almost 30-year-old man hadn’t changed much, still looked like his rocker self, but in a surprising turn of events, he reached down and gave me a hug.

“I’m glad you’re okay and that you decided to come back.” He said sincerely.

Touched by his words, I felt my eyes tear up slightly, but quickly shook my head. I didn’t want to cry in front of a guy who I considered a rock.