The Rockstar Within Me

The Rock Star Within Me - Chapter 50

Copyright 2013

Studio time with River was not as eventful as most would have thought.

On the third day we were sprawled out on a couch in the studio, working on a song River had decided to call Poppin’ Champagne.

I held an acoustic guitar on my lap while River hit the small coffee table to distinguish the beat.

“You've got me poppin' champagne,

I'm at it again,

Caught up in the moment,

But not in the right way.

I'm falling in between,

Tearing up at the seams.

We're just aiming to please,

And aesthetics don't hurt one bit”

I was bobbing up and down as I changed chords into the bridge of the song. I liked jamming out on the guitar while we tested new ideas and placements.

“So follow me down…

Take this all the way

Any way you want to.”

River jumped into the chorus with a whole new energy.

“Why don't you say so?

I think I'm caught in between

The nights and days fly by

When I'm lost on the streets

And my eyes, they despise you for who I am

Why don't you say so?

Why don't you say so?”

I stopped playing, seeing as we didn’t really have the second verse figured out yet.

“How did that sound?” River questioned.

I nodded.

“Pretty darn good. Kudos on changing the line from ‘sex doesn’t hurt one bit’ to ‘aesthetics don’t hurt one bit.” I said with a laugh.

“Yeah, realized half way through that I might’ve gotten some flack if I didn’t change it.” River smirked, going back to the notepad with all the lyrics scribbled on to it.

It was easy to forget what had happened between us, and lapse into easy banter. At one time I had been so comfortable around River and falling back into the same routine happened almost unnoticeably. Sometimes it would feel as if nothing had changed. All too quickly though, I was reminded of what he had done and a wave of self-hate and displeasure rolled over me. It was if I was bipolar, having extremely good moments then having equally low ones.

I wouldn’t say River and I were getting along completely, but I managed to restrain myself when tempted to swing at his arrogant smile. That’s not to say I wasn’t tempted to try as River was definitely pushing his luck.

“So where were you hiding all this time? You couldn’t have been in LA.” River asked nonchalantly as we sat in the studio space working on a new song.

I rolled my eyes at him. He had become an expert at throwing a personal question into normal conversation, trying to be as casual as possible. To me though, his questions stuck out like a sore thumb.

“What’s it to you?” I asked unenthusiastic.

He shrugged.

“Just curious.”