The Rockstar Within Me

The Rock Star Within Me - Chapter 21

The car ride over to the award show was filled with anxious chatter and sweaty palms. Susan was rambling about proper red carpet behavior but my mind was else where. I nodded to her detailed descriptions on how to pose and how to smile but I was lost in my thoughts, fighting with myself over what River had said earlier. 

River sat beside me, also tuning his publicist out, playing on his phone. He looked handsome with his fitted suit. His dark hair was styled meticulously so that it formed a quiff, something new for him, but something that definitely suited him. His green eyes were bright and clear when they looked up and caught me starring. 

He reached over and squeezed me leg, then removed it so he could text again. 

Something inside me twisted, wanting him to pick up my hand and just hold it reassuringly. But of course, I knew he wouldn’t do this. 

Something had clicked inside me a while ago, probably around the same time that I realized that I had feelings for him; River didn’t know what it meant to have a girlfriend let alone a fake one. I had come to figure out that River could be jealous and possessive, interested and sometimes ever pleasant but River was definitely scared to let his true, raw emotions show. 

I knew he cared about me or at least liked me enough to keep me around but I had no idea how he honestly felt about me. Something was holding him back, whether that was something subconsciously because of his childhood and the way he grew up or his own selfish pride, I just needed to coax it out of him. It was like he knew what he was supposed to do in front of cameras but when it came to his own free will, he was a lost puppy. Underneath the hard, attractive exterior was something beautiful that I only rarely saw it. But it was most definitely there.

From the way he held me close, so gently as if he thought I was going to break into pieces or from the times when it was like he was hungry for only me; he cared on some level. 

With images from last night and this morning surfacing in my mind, I squirmed in my seat. This lust I felt for him couldn’t be just a one way street, could it? We must mutually feel the same things, right? 

I licked my lips remembering the feel of his mouth on mine, on my throat, on my shoulder...

I watched as his full lips turned upward into a smile. 

“You look like you’re about to jump me.” He mused. 

My cheeks instantly started to burn and I let a little gasp out. 

He smirked, in an almost devilish way. I caught his eyes soaking up my bare legs. I reached over and hit his knee with my hand, but he caught me by the wrist before I could pull back. 

“You do look sexy in that dress.” He whispered against my palm as he kissed it briefly. 

“Or lack of dress.” I quipped in, hinting at the backless part. 

River released my hand, his smile widening. 

“That’s just how I like it baby.” He winked at my shocked expression. 

“Such a pig.” I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest and looking out the window.

The street we were pulling up to was covered with people. Excited fans were being held back by metal gates and security guards were standing on guard in case someone was able to make it past the barrier. Further on was a red carpet and a wall where people were standing and posing with people in front of them that were furiously taking pictures and asking questions. 

The car came to a stop almost at the beginning of the red carpet. Susan turned back towards us from the front passenger seat.

“All right, remember: big smiles, lots of kisses, and follow my directions. I’ll be there the whole time directing you on who to talk to and saving you if you start talking to someone for too long.”