Pentatonix One Shots

Letters.

It's been two weeks since you passed. The pain hasn't gotten any easier like they told me it would. I miss you so much.

Your funeral is in an hour. I don't even know if I'm going to go. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye two weeks ago, I don't see what difference it would make now.

Maybe I'll go. I want to see you, one last time but I don't know if I can take the realisation that I'll never see you again after that moment.

I'm driving to the church now. I didn't dress up like I was told too, I didn't see the point. You aren't there to fix my tie and it would feel weird if someone else did.

I sat outside the church as I watched everyone cry over you. I haven't managed to shed one tear since I was told you died. It's not because I don't love you or miss you, trust me I do. It just hasn't hit me yet.

I sat and thought about you. How your laugh would brighten the room. How your smile could lift the lowest soul. God I miss that, I miss you.

I reached for my glove box to retrieve the pack of gum I always left in there. I know you tried to help me kick my habit to chew gum when I'm scared or nervous but I had a real excuse today.

I opened the glove box and something fell out with a light thud. I immediately recognised your handwriting on the front. I smiled a little at how messy it was.

Don't read me until your inside. Read me out loud.

I was confused. This must be your will or something. I obeyed you and tucked it in my pocket. I looked up and saw everything heading inside. I sighed before climbing out and following the other guests inside the tiny church.

I sat at the back of the church and watched guest after guest go up and say nice things about you. I zoned out after a while, not wanting to hear anymore.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't notice how sad you were. I'm sorry I didn't help you when you asked. I'm sorry I let you leave that day. I'm sorry I didn't go after you. I'm sorry you died without me telling you I loved you.

Suddenly someone touched my shoulder and I was asked to go up and speak. I nodded and walked passed everyone who stared as I was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt.

"I'm sorry I don't really know what to say." I put my hands in my pocket and remembered your letter. I figured what's the worse that could happen.

I smiled again as I saw your handwriting.

I opened it and read it out loud like I was asked too.

Hello everyone. I'm sorry. I didn't want this to happen but I couldn't take it anymore. Life got too hard for me to cope. I'm sorry I plastered on a smile tricking you all into thinking I was ok but I wasn't.

I drove to the bridge everyday thinking about my options and everyday I went home again to be with my reason for living everyday. You. Avi. Every day I'd leave you and everyday I'd come back and your smile and hugs would make me feel better for a little while. I'm sorry to tell you but eventually my bad thoughts took over my happy thoughts of you and suddenly you weren't enough to keep me going.

When you read this I'll be gone and you'll be hurting but I need you to be ok. I want you too feel happy like how I felt when I was with you. I'm asking you to smile that smile that made life bearable.

Remember me. Remember to love again. Remember that your smile and laugh is helping others everyday. Remember that I love you. I've always loved you. Please live everyday. Please live for me.

I'm sorry I left you alone. You'll be ok again I promise. Don't be afraid. I love you. Goodbye Avi.

Kevin x

I finished reading the letter out loud at your funeral like you asked.

I folded the piece of paper up and put it back in my point.

"I'm sorry." I smiled for the first time since you died. I left the church without a word to anyone.

I sat in my car. I sat in my car and thought over your letter. I rested my head on the steering wheel.

"God I miss you Kev." I let my emotions explode from a cage I've kept locked up for two weeks. Tears ran down my face and my body was shaking from the waves of angry tears that took over me.

After 10minute my eyes hurt and I had to catch my breath. I suddenly felt better. Like a weight had been lifted.

I couldn't be here anymore. The atmosphere was making me sad.

I drove away. I kept driving with the thought of you in my head.

I ended up at the bridge. I'm stood on the rails of where you jumped. The roses and photo of us I brought were still here. I smiled softly at the photo. I closed my eyes imagining what you'd be doing right now. Probably annoyed the hell out of me while you practiced your cello.

I felt the cold breeze flow through my hair, it was strong. Maybe it's you telling me to be careful. So I climbed down and walked to my car. I'm going to live everyday like you wanted. I want to do this for you. I love you Kevin,  thank you for being apart of my life. I'll miss you forever but I'm going to make up for every moment your going to miss.

I looked at the photo again as I watched the rose petals blow away in the wind. I started the car and drove away. Drove away from the sadness and from the pain. I finally got to say when I never got to two weeks ago.

"Goodbye Kevin."

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A friend of my helped me with this shot. I'll tag her on Instagram.  Hope you liked it. Love ya'll x