Crown of Thorns ||BVB a.u.|| (DISCONTINUED)

XV: Peace With God

{Alexander}

I pace. And pace. And I pace, and I pace. God, I just want to throw a vase at the wall or something of the likings. My mind is scattered. My thoughts babbling and nagging. I can't clearly tell right from wrong. I do not want to do this, but I know I must.

I scream and throw a ceramic vase at a wall in my room. I saunter over to the grand window and open the curtain. The sky is grey, the sun is shielded by the clouds. I frown, looking over the city. The dreary atmosphere makes this beautiful city ugly. But the sky opens up. The sun peeks through the clouds and shines down on a particular spot, and as its rays reach down to earth, the church bells rang. It's as if the chapel was illuminated. A smile grew on my lips and I now know what I have to do.

Without hesitation, I close the curtains and leave my room. I've come to terms with what o must do, but the aftermath is what I truly dwell on; the high possibility of death. Beheading. And if that is so, I may not have the opportunity to confess, repent, and be forgiven. I must do it now. Come before the lord with this vile sin I must commit, for the glory of my kingdom. For the glory of my father. For King Jamie Dreux.

"Hello, brother!" I stop dead in my tracks and roll my eyes before facing the man who's called out to me.

"Andrew," I nod.

"How are you this evening?" He asks, catching up to me.

"I'm well."

"Where are you off to? Mind if I join you?"

"I'm on my way to the chapel. I'd rather be alone."

"Chapel? You, a religious man?"

"I just need to confess. And so if I were?"

"Oh, you just don't seem like the type," he reassures, placing his hand on my shoulder. I look at his jewel dressed hand and (kindly) push it off. "I didn't mean any offense."

"Isn't that grand," I mumble. "Look, I'd rather be alone. Do you mind if I go in solitude?"

"Oh, oh, not at all. My apologies." He smiles and bids me a farewell. I sigh and rub my face as I walk away from this encounter.

//

"I'm a guilty man."

"We're all guilty men, boy."

I chuckle to myself because of the response the priest. "I don't think quite understand the severity of my sins."

"What's troubling you? Go on now."

"I've taken a life. Well, I should correct that-- I'm going to take a life in two days time. I don't want to, but I must. And I must confess now, incase I'm put to death afterwards, and I don't have time to put things right with God."

"Murder? Hm. Well, that is a bit severe, isn't it... But you say you're going to? Why is that?"

"Aren't you not supposed to ask questions? Just make certain God forgives me?"

"I suppose you could say that."

The old man stays silent. I sigh and look over to him through the wall that divides us. "My father is making me kill an innocent man, who's to marry my little sister, all for power."

"Your father can't make you do anything."

I laugh. "You don't know my father."

"Do you want to kill this man?" He asks, changing the subject.

"No! Not at all. Though he hurt my sister at one point, they're in love. And, again, he's innocent. A bit of a temper, but innocent! It wouldn't just hurt him and his family, but... my sister. My sister whom I love and care oh, so deeply for. I don't want to for her sake, but our father will stop at nothing."

"There's no other way?"

"It seems as if that's the case."

"And are you sorry you 'have' to do this, young man?"

"Truly, I am."

"Ego te absolvo. I absolve you from your sins." We both cross ourselves and I thank him. I get up from my knees and exit the confessional. I still feel a weight on my shoulders. I may be forgiven by God, but I most definitely will never have the forgiveness from my dear sister. And that is all I care about. Damn me to hell, so be it, but may my sister find peace with me after I commit the heinous crime.

A/N: One more chapter before the wedding... Be prepared. (Picture of Alexander attached).