Crown of Thorns ||BVB a.u.|| (DISCONTINUED)

XXVI: King's Order

{Arabella}

Just when I think I'm pregnant, just when I have the slightest bit of hope left, I begin to menstruate once more. I haven't left the bed in three days. The hand maidens have been checking on me more than Andrew has been. He's been occupied. He and his men have been training for weeks. He leaves at dawn and comes back at dark. Even when he hasn't been with the troops, he hasn't been around much. I've been just glum lately; everyone has been noticing that I've been in a lugubrious mood.

"Your grace?" Millicent's voice echoed. "The chef sent you a plate. He would really like it if you ate something. We all would."

I sigh and sit up, staring as she just stands with a silver tray in hand. In defeat, I gesture for her to advance. She sets the tray on the center table and I make my way to it. "Thank you," I whisper. She curtsies and I take my seat. I stare at the food, push it around a bit. "Tell me: have you seen my husband at all today?"

"N-No, your grace, I have not."

"Mmm. Well. No matter. He's taking care of business." Finally, I aggressively take a bite of vegetables. "It's not like I want to see him, at least every so often. It's not like I'm his wife or anything." I huff and stand abruptly, heading back to bed. "You're relieved, Millicent, thank you."

"But your grace—"

"I said for you to go! Now leave me be."

She curtsies and scurries out of the room, closing the door behind her. My eyes gloss over the architecture of the ceiling and make their way to the window that is adjacent to the bed. The setting sun is a wonder to behold. The colors that take hold in the sky almost take my breath away; the oranges and yellow tones, all with pinks and violets. It's a marvel. I want to be the way a sunset makes me feel. I want to feel warm and happy. I want to be happy. It seems as if only the love of a child can fill this void, since Andrew has come up short in said category on numerous occasions. Oh, trust me: I love Andrew with all my heart. It just... Doesn't seem to be reciprocated. This is a reoccurring theme, isn't it? I love too much, he doesn't love enough, I get hurt, he fixes me, and we're seemingly back to normal and the cycle repeats.

As the sun falls below the horizon, my tears begin to fall with it. At first a few drops, then those become a steady stream, all until I'm weeping. I cry out to the baby I seemingly cannot have, I cry out to God, any higher being who will listen. "I just want a son!"

I weep for what seems like eternity, until the door is slowly pushed open. I quickly wipe me face and sit up straight. "How was your day, love?"

"Grueling," he grumbles, throwing off his outerwear. "These men are incompetent! My father, and father before him, made the greatest forces known to man. Now?" He bitterly chuckles, flinging open a dresser, "Now these men of today hardly even know who to defend themselves, let alone fight." He storms off into the bath-room and all I can hear is the slamming of various items.

"I'm sorry, love," I call out. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

"Not unless you can train these boys into men of war." He storms back into our room and rummages through the dresser again. But his movements begin to soften and slow. "Actually...maybe that's not too bad an idea."

"What?"

"You training our men."

"Andy, that's ridiculous, darling."

"How so? You've had proper training from Hamish, and you definitely kicked my ass."

"That's because you didn't fight back."

"You still could beat me if I did. Your form is impeccable. Of course, you'd have to get approval from Jacob first and foremost, since he—"

"Hold on, hold on. What will this show for you, having a woman, much less a young girl, teach grown men how to fight in combat? This could ruin you."

"I'm desperate at this point, Bella. And if something were to erupt, and we were to win, this would be a good thing."

"I don't know, Andrew. I—"

"I've already made my decision, Arabella. You'll awake with me in the morning, and you and Jacob will spar with one another. We'll go on from there."

I sigh and lie back. This man, this stress, will be the death of me.