She Makes My Earth Quake

A Brother To Talk To

-Amaimon's POV-
-10pm-
Brother stayed at his desk, we had long fell silent after he tried explaining to me what the borrowing concept was all about. I started to feel nauseated like my stomach wanted to follow in high tides with the ocean to reach the moon.
"Aniue!" I made it a point to whine, "Talk to me!"
"What do you want me to say Amaimon, I'm busy!"
"What are you writing?" I turned in my seat peeking over the backing of the chair to look over at him. He was glaring at a piece of paper for over thirty minutes now, and hasn't written anything. He would tap his pen on the desk or place it on his chin in thought then set it down and shift in his chair and heave deep sighs of probable dismay, something he's never shown before.
"A letter." He answered.
"A love letter?"
"No. An apology letter..." He answered in susurration.
"Apology?? What have you done wrong brother?"
"Nothing!" He snapped quickly but rest his back against the chair and sighed looking disconcerted with himself, "Well actually, I broke something."
"Was that why Shura was yelling at you? Was it hers?"
"Something like that yes. I didn't do anything but because of another's actions towards me and the wrong timing-ah let me not beat around the bush and just explain it simply. One of the secretaries at the main office had developed a liking towards me. She really is a hopeless pathetic thing, once admired and looked up to Shura. Wishing she could be like her only completely opposite in not only looks but in attitude and personality, but her admiration quickly turned to jealousy as she found out that Shura also likes me as well, and I to her. I was flattered by the extra attention, however I never intended for things to go the way it had. Humans are very unpredictable in their desperate times. When I heard Shura's pattern of foot steps walking just a hall away the woman swoons across my desk pulling my tie and brings me down with her, just as Shura opens the door to see the misleading turn of events."
"That sneaky woman made it look like you were all over her and kissing her!!"
"I'm afraid so, even stopping milliseconds of time couldn't prevent the out come of the situation. Never having touched the woman, she jumps from my desk and flees, and Shura..." He sighed again deeply, "That's when I broke it."
"But that's not fair! You didn't do anything, you were set up!!"
"I know, and it wouldn't be the first in my lifetime to happen to me. So it won't be the first time I'm going to let anyone get away with it either." He gave a malice smile.
"But why must you apologize? Maybe explain, but theres no need for apologies." I wouldn't apologize.
"Of course there is... Never before has a woman like her compared herself to others with the thought, 'is she better than me?' She never once looked in the mirror with the doubted thought in her mind 'am I pretty enough?' Never had she thought 'I'm no good for a man.' It was always 'there could be no man good enough for me.' To be considered the man who changed that for her is an honor and I want to keep it that way! But now, now she's going to doubt herself, now she's going to underestimate herself, she's going to put herself to low standards because she feels that I didn't find her to fit mine."

Ah, there it is. The silent emotion that hid behind his eyes after the yelling had stopped and Shura walked away. It's coming out now. He understands these humans so well... A demon's feelings aren't that complicated at all. We don't feel the necessity to explain ourselves in any situation or give an apology even if we did do something wrong. It was something we mimic to humans to try and fit in, hide amongst them, or portray sympathy with them to gain their trust. Until one has opened your heart that is.
"Why don't you write that down then? Let her know you understand the after effects."
He glanced back down at his paper but his shoulders slumped and a frown pulled the corners of his lips, "I shouldn't be writing it, I shouldn't have let her leave."
"Well you did." I yawned it was already twelve.
"I did." He nodded his head pushing the paper aside and got up from the desk pulling me into a hug, one I didn't expect but accepted and nuzzled in closer letting my eyes close.
"Because sometimes letting go it for the best... If things are going to work they need time, and space. But too much space drifts things apart, too little and it becomes a black hole. Perhaps one should be like Saturn and it's rings. Not too far, yet not too close."

"Larissa told me she didn't want to date me anymore." I murmured against his chest feeling my own clench tightly with the memory of her words.
"Well she hadn't come to Japan for dating... She had come to find something important to her, about her mother. Finding a devilish boyfriend was just a bonus, but perhaps it is that she can't seem to handle both at the same time. Maybe space is what you two need as well. Even though you just started... Dating a human isn't easy you know, I'm sure dating a demon could be just as nerve wrecking to them."
"Maybe so..." I sniffled feeling my eyes fill with water, somewhere a river was over flowing and flooding a crop farm, "But now my powers, with out her I feel I can't control them anymore. Or I don't want to have them anymore."
"You can't rush her Amaimon, you have her whole life to posses in time. Otherwise let her continue her original journey she has come for and watch on the sidelines. You will have to gain control of your powers with out her or be sent back to Gehenna. One day she'll grow old and die... As will Shura. Our dear humans will leave us behind... We can't loose ourselves when that happens. So learn it now, and strengthen your will, harden that heart again when need be the time, don't loose yourself when you've lost everything else."

We both went to bed at two in the morning I however didn't sleep. I watched brother as he held me under one arm and stared into his thoughts until his eyes could stay open no more. After he was sound asleep for what would be the next hour I watched out the window the stars able to shine over the bright lit city must be some kind of magic... Like Larisa's ability to open my heart and toss it away so effortlessly. But she doesn't understand how deeply it meant to me. I never had a chance to show her. If space is what she wants then she'll get it. She didn't come here to date she says, then I have nothing to worry about, she'll find her mother's past and then when she's done she'll come running back to me. But one day she'll be old and will die... That thought was horrible, why would brother think of something so awful?! But because it's true. Watching his sullen sleeping face shows he remembers all the faces that once lived and watched them die. He no longer sleeps happily and he continues to hurt himself by loving a human again... Maybe, for my sake and Larrisa it really is better that we aren't together. Quick lust was clouding over this rational and logical part of thinking.

By three in the morning brother stirred from his sleep looking like the last image from his dream made him want to vomit but he quickly pushed aside the thought as he got out of bed and started getting things ready for the livelier part of the mornings which were three hours away.
"Did you sleep?" He asked ordering some tea.
"No. I won't be going to school, it was a silly idea to jump into."
"Y-You're dropping out?"
"I enjoyed your school very much Anuie, being able to walk around with out hiding. But I only enrolled for my own selfish wants to get something I no longer want anymore. It would be easier if I just quit."
"But I could change your classes around, there can be another way! I'll give you some time to really think about this, missing a week of school is better than quitting all together."
I sighed brother was liking sending me off to his school and hearing about my days, like a real brother who cares for his younger brother would do, he even enjoyed sending me lunch messages to tell me he refilled my account with the money I needed for lunches. "Fine give me a week to think about it more." But truthfully my mind is made up...
I didn't go to school today and found it boring after I was able to fall asleep later during the day, and by mid-day while playing a video game Behemoth started to get squirmy.
"Anuie?" I peeked into his office seeing him write with vigor on a paper, "I'm going to take Behemoth for a walk."
"Ah okay, give this to Shura when you see her okay?"
"Are you done writing it?"
"No, but when I am you'll receive it." He glanced up quickly with a bright smile.
"Okay." I shrugged and took Behemoth's chain leading him down stairs and opened the front door where he suddenly made a dash and slipped from my hands!!