Miss You

Chapter 33. Bienvenue

Haven and I had finally arrived in Montreal, Québec and it felt pretty amazing to be back. I had not been there since I was 12 years old and that was 7 years ago. My mom had told me that she had a surprise for me, so I was anticipating that.

"Alaysia, Haven! I am so happy you're finally here!" My mom said as she hugged us.

"Yeah, it feels good to be back!" I said as I kissed her cheek.

"I've never been here, but it feels good to be here." Haven said jokingly as we all laughed.

"You girls must be starving. I cooked for you, come to the kitchen." My mom said as she walked to the kitchen and we followed.

We had dinner and just talked and laughed until about 9pm.

"I think I might head up to bed. I'm tired." Haven said as she stood up from the couch.

"Okay, goodnight." My mom and I said at the same time.

"Night!" Haven said and walked up the stairs.

"So, Alaysia. Do you remember the present I told you about?" My mom asked enthusiastically.

"Yeah, what is it?" I asked nervously. I have always hated surprises.

All of a sudden the door knocked.

"Please go answer the door." My mom said to me as I walked to the door.

I opened it and saw a man. He looked familiar, but...

"Alaysia, is that you?" He asked and enveloped me in a big hug, which was unexpected.

"Yes. Who are you?" I asked curiously as the man stepped inside and I gave my mom a 'who the hell is this' look.

"Has it been that long? It's me papi!" He exclaimed. 

Then it clicked. When I was little, I used to call my dad "papi" since he speaks Spanish and wanted me to learn too. It was my dad. I had not seen him since I was 4 years old.

"Dad!" I said as I burst into tears.

"Alaysia, don't cry." My mom said as she wrapped her arms around me.

"I am so sorry Alaysia. I did not mean to startle you." I could hear my dad say through a whisper.

"I'm sorry Pablo." My mom said to dad as she shook her head in disapproval.

"I think I will go." My dad said as he turned towards the door.

"No, don't!" I suddenly shouted.

"Why? You want me to stay?" He asked with tears in his eyes.

"Yes." I said as I nodded and hugged him."You're not leaving us again."

My mom went upstairs and left me alone with dad. That's when I realized that this was the surprise she was talking about.

I explained my job to dad, Paris Fashion Week, the clothing line and how I've met some pretty amazing people.

"Wow. I have no words. You are amazing, Alaysia. I am lucky that I can call you my daughter!" He said happily, which made me smile.

"Thank you so much papi!" I exclaimed.

"You said papi..." he said monotonously, as if something was wrong.

"I-I didn't mean to.. it just s-slipped out." I stuttered nervously.

"No, it's okay. I just have not heard you say that in a while." He said with a smile.

"Yeah, about that, can I ask you something?" I asked shyly.

"Go ahead." 

"Why did you leave us?" I asked hesitantly.

He took a deep breathe. "I left because I could not be the father I wanted to be to you and the husband I wanted to be to your mom." He said with tears in his eyes. 

I passed him a tissue, knowing that he was going to cry.

"I forgive you, papi.." I said quietly as we both cried in each other's arms.

"Every time one of your birthday's passed, I thought about you and I wished that I could be there, but I could not."

"But, why? If you don't mind me asking."

"I had alcohol addiction problems. It was not good to be around a child in the condition I was in."

That made me cry really hard. I had alcohol addiction too and pretty severely.

"I was an alcoholic too." I blurted out unexpectedly.

"What? Why? A beautiful soul like you... no way." My dad said in disbelief.

"Well, I was 16 when it started. I just was not happy, my life was not the way I wanted it to be and I don't even know what else there was to it. Anyway, I turned to alcohol to temporarily wash my problems away. I just liked the way I felt when I drank, euphoric almost." I admitted.

"But, you realized the after affects right?" My dad asked.

"Oh yeah, I had to be hospitalized more than 2 times, almost fell into a comatose and died from alcohol poisoning, but I'm still here!" I said with a smile, trying to make the conversation a bit more lively.

"That is insane. I could only imagine how you're mother felt during those times." He said sadly.

"She blamed herself sometimes and cried a lot. I most recently relapsed during fashion week and that's when I decided it was enough." I said with a more serious tone.

"That's my girl. You are too beautiful and talented for that." My dad said and kissed my forehead.

"Thanks papi. I love you." I said with a smile.

"You do?" He asked with tears in his eyes. 

"Yes, you're my papi, I have no other dad, only you."

"Gracias amor Yo también te quiero." My dad said in Spanish. "Do you know what that means? He asked.

"Not really." I said as we both laughed.

"Thanks my love. I love you too." He said as I hugged him.

The rest of the night, we just talked. I have never resented my father for leaving us. He explained his reasoning and that's all that matters. We did not crumble nor fall. We all made it out stronger.