battleships // mirstie

■■ Paper Hearts

Don't think I would just forget about it. Hoping that you won't forget about it.

I loved her. Mitch said to himself. And this is the consequence.

He was going to his flat with Scott and Alex already, riding a cab. He thought of memories, and the only set of moments that splattered around his brain was the last times he was with Kirstie.

As he contemplated what he did in San Francisco, someone texted him.

Oliver.

Mitch almost forgot about him.

Oliver: I'm ready to meet you.

Mitch: Really? I'm not sure if I'm ready to meet you.

Oliver: Why?

Mitch: I need to find myself first. I'm so lost.

Mitch: I mean, lost in my mind and heart. Like, very lost.

Oliver: Where are you right now?

Mitch: Somewhere in L.A.

Oliver: That's where I live! Somewhere in L.A.

Mitch: I swear I would never date with a nine-year-old kid.

Oliver: wOAH I'M NOT, don't worry. But my point is, let's just take this slow. I wanna be friends with you personally.

Mitch: ok babes, but i gotta go.

That was the only thing that made Mitch want to smile, but he really needs to find himself.

"Uh, sir, can we just go to somewhere else? The nearest hotel you'll see please." Mitch said to the driver.

The driver just nodded and brought him to the nearest hotel.

After Mitch paid for the cab, he went out and checked himself in by the hotel. He didn't care what the name of the hotel is or if it's safe from paparazzi, the only important thing is he has a place to stay this night.

Why am I even in this situation? Mitch asked himself again. I've been so sure, right?

He tried to lie to himself to move on, he tried and listed many things to do, and one thing on the list is to fall in love over someone who is totally opposite to Kirstie.

But why is this happening? Does he need to fall for Oliver? But how could he? Should he force himself? He loved Travis but it didn't work.

As he went to his hotel room, Scott called him by the phone, "I got the news from Toddy! I'm so happy for Kirstie!" He chimed.

"Yep, me too." Mitch said. "I hope they go well."

Scott laughed and been reminded to ask him, "But are you alright? Where are you?"

"I just went to a hotel, hoping for some fresh air." Mitch answered. "I can't be suffocating myself like this."

"I know you need me right now." Scott said.

"No, I need this by myself now." Mitch insisted. "I need this, please?"

"But please Mitch, call me if you need help because I'm telling you, if something bad happens to you, I'm going to die."

"Okay daddy, will do." Mitch said and dropped the call.

He unpacked his things as soon as he entered his room and prepared himself for how he will find himself.

Everything just shattered and letting go of Kirstie is just so hard.

That sudden proposal got Mitch off-guard very well, like Jeremy wanted to slap him with the truth; Mitch will never be able to get his Kirstie back again.

But now, it's not about Kirstie, it's about him, it's about what he's holding to. Like he's going out of the closet again.

He himself can't explain everything.

Since Kirstie invaded his life, everything has become swirls over here and there. His heart just exploded and got so drunk in love.

He didn't know what to do anymore, or how the world would judge him. He didn't want to get Pentatonix on the edge; he'd rather chew a puffer fish alive while it's bloated, yet, he didn't want to lie to himself as well.

Lies. Lies. Lies.

Once you lie to yourself and tried holding onto it, you already don't know what truth you'll hold onto. It's hard to be a liar when you think you are grasping the truth.

It will hurt if you let go of it, but it will hurt much more as you realize you're holding onto a temporary thing.

This is getting so ridiculous.