battleships // mirstie

■■ Anyway

If I said I'm gonna make you wait
I don't mean it but I'm always late.

Kirstie met with Mitch, after not meeting with him within a week or two. She was trying to divert her attention to Jeremy and her dog, Olaf. She even got a new puppy for them to play around with.

She went to a seminar with her fiancé for a while, and they have been doing so well. All she had to do is to clarify to Mitch that they are finally going to a real end.

This will surely hurt, because there still words left unsaid. Like, how would she explain this? It was as if yesterday she's full in love with Mitch.

Maybe because one month of thinking too much about it paid hard. There are lots of maybe's, but it's not time for that.

Their story was already a mess. The cheating did not last, what is he going to do about it? It's impossible for him to contradict about Jeremy getting back with Kirstie, he isn't cold-hearted as that.

She stopped walking when she saw Mitch going inside of the place they said they would meet at. She stopped walking to the other side of the street and made up her mind to just end it through a phone call.

It would be cruel but it would be ironically just fine, because after all, their adult heart can still be a teen behind all the memories. Kirstie would still remember that breaking up a certain connection is hard. It would be hurtful, yes, but this time, she's going to do it.

Blinking her eyes and washing all these painful thoughts, she looked at the blue skies, checking if all was real, because it surely felt like history is simply reeling back. It seemed like they were in a movie.

She sighed heavily, shrugging every cowardice in her body. Her emotions should not fail her now, this is a critical moment; a crucial one once again.

After minutes of panicking what to say, she finally got in the stance of talking to Mitch. She grabbed her phone from her pocket and sighed heavily again.

She dialed Mitch's number.

It rang. It made her nervous, like very nervous. She almost slipped her phone from the sweat her palm was releasing. She felt cold in the inside, her mind being numb.

There are too many reasons why her mind is always numb, not literally, but in an emotional way. There has been many experiences why her thoughts are always deep, and not just because she needed it with her blogs.

She loved Mitch, that's why, and maybe there's this numbness that tells her to stay within him; to still supply him the wholeness of her.

"I need to be strong." She mumbled after she called Mitch again as he was not answering his phone.

"I need to focus." She said as the tone of his phone continued ringing inside her ear, throughout her head.

"Hello?" His voice finally said. "I have been waiting for you."

Kirstie wanted to cry, but there were no enough tears and enough weight to her reason. Besides, she needed to be tough for this moment.

She didn't know how many words could fit into her mind right now, she wanted to finish it fast. After all, if you end it fast, the healing would be faster, right?

No.

"Hi." Kirstie said. Her atmosphere seemed a little bit off. "Uh, I couldn't make it there, I'm going to have Olaf visit the veterinarian." She lied.

"Oh." Is all Mitch could say. He doesn't even know if that will break his heart or delight him.