battleships // mirstie

▶ Upside Down

You have flipped my view; but somehow, I like it.

Mitch

vlog entry #1

<camera log in>

<whispers>

Is it necessary to fall? Yes. Is it necessary to feel unsafe? Yes. Is it necessary to feel negative? Yes.

Everything is important in its very own, unique way. Maybe it is to guide us in the right way. Maybe it is for us to realize that we have been wrong on something.

But you know what's not wrong?

The moment I realized that I love Kirstie.

Even though I know that she's going to get married to the man of her dreams, the man who gave her the love I could have supplied her, the man who gave his heart to the woman I sincerely love, the man named Jeremy Michael Lewis.

There is still this special place in my heart that I only would hand Kirstie.

No matter how much I deny it, no matter how much I avoid it. No matter how much I tell myself that she's pain in my head, no matter how I want to hate her for what I'm feeling.

I don't need to talk about this to anyone. Maybe I only wanted the pain back, since she's getting married next week.

This day, we landed on the last country of the world tour and I'm not getting sleep just to record this. Besides, jet lag with the feeling of missing the stage sucks.

Anyways.

Kirstie and Jeremy still didn't announce everyone their wedding because, for sure, fans and all the media will go crazy about it. They ensured that everything is safe first because, someone might plan to stay at the the venue of their wedding for days just to attend.

I never thought that it would be this early, though.

And my realization will be this late.

Well, life is not easy, life is not perfect. That's why regrets are in the end. I don't understand why regrets are even created in the hopeless situations, but I just need to accept it now.

Why am I staying awake? Ah, there's going to be a performance tomorrow. I bet this log will not be posted or anything but, I'll continue.

I still love Kirstie, but I could always address it that I only love her as a friend. People will freak out if they knew the truth.

On the brighter side, I have been planning on getting the wedding postponed. I will interrupt the priest and say, "Kirstie! I loved you first!"

Then I'll play a song, explaining why she should go back to me in that span of time.

I better said that quietly because Scott is sleeping and I'm in the bathroom right now. He doesn't need to know about all of these and I think, I'll just keep this to myself.

<giggles>
<smiling widely at the camera>

This still needs to be private but I don't know how much time it would take for me to hide this secret. I don't like hiding secrets, especially when it involves people who surround me.

But for the sake of a happy ending, I need to keep it to myself.

<sings hands to myself quietly>
<giggles>

I want to make you smile because I have been such an emotional guy. Throughout my story, thank you for keeping up with my struggles.

When you see this video, I probably am dead because I swear, I'm not telling this secret to someone until my death stands in the way.

So, am I making myself a eulogy?

<giggles>
<waves hand sideways>

No, no, no.

Anyways, I love you guys. Peace out.

<poses peace sign>

<camera log out>