It's Complicated

Chapter 3: Mature?

  Why did I delete his number? I should have just kept it & not said a word. Besides, how does Sydney knows what's best for me when I don't even know what's best for me? I'm tired of letting people my make decisions for me, I'm growing up, I'm allowed to make mistakes.

  I get out of bed & shower, I really don't feel like doing anything anymore. I pick out this coral sundress, which reminds me of a much simpler time when I just started my homeschooling. It brings back such good memories, memories I wish I could relive over & over. But, I can't. That was the past, I'm not the same little girl I used to be. I paired my dress up with some brown strappy sandals from Abercrombie & Fitch, along with a jean jacket. I decide to straighten my hair, which surprisingly has gotten long. I don't even want to think about doing my makeup, but I did a simple natural look for the day & I was ready.

Hayley runs into my room & jumps on my bed,
"Syd called me & told me I could go along with y'all if it was okay with you! So, like can I go?"

  I really didn't want her around, I wanted to talk about things without worrying if Hayley was going to run back & tell our mom.

  "Sure, I guess. But you can't tell anyone about the things we talk about or else I'll never let you go with us again!"

  Hayley had a history of "spilling the beans" about things she knew she wasn't supposed to tell. She told my mom about Sydney & Caleb's first kiss, our mom was furious because Caleb didn't tell her himself. She also once saw me with a boy Katie & I knew, of course my mom assumed the worst. But Hayley always made things worse than they actually were.

  *Honk, honk!* Sydney's here, we'd better go down before my mom begins to ask a million questions. As we run down the stairs my mom stops me, only me,
"Hayley tell Syd that Annie will be there in a few minutes, I've got to talk to her real quick!"

  My heart began to race & my stomach was in knots, was something bad happening? Did my mom know about this boy? Did I fail that test I took last week? My mom begins to pull something out the back pocket of her jeans. She looked like a total gym mom today. She was wearing her dark faded jeans, with TOMS & her "1st class gymnast mom" shirt on. She begins to hand me something & stops in the middle of her tracks.

  "I know we've never let you have full access to the money you make off your acroanna channel, but your dad & I have decided you're mature enough to make your own decisions with your money. We put a few grand on the card for you, for whatever purposes you want. Just don't spend it all at once. We love you Annie! You've come so far in your life & we couldn't be more proud!"

  She pulled me in for a hug, one I wished would never end; I felt so safe in her arms, & gave me kiss on my head. I wish she would've held onto me longer, just a couple of seconds more. Everything felt so right.

  I walk outside the house & see Hayley riding shotgun, I'm too exhausted to even argue with her over it. More than anything I was just upset in myself for not making my own choices. Not to mention I was still in shock for having a few grand on a debit card.

I open the car door & sit down in the backseat,
"Well Syd, leos & fro-yo are no longer your treat. It's all on me. Mom gave me a debit card with money on it, something about doing great in life & that I'm mature. I don't know, but today everything is my treat."

The girls looked back in confusion, everyone who knew me & my siblings knew our parents didn't let us go out with more than $100 in our pockets. They always taught us the value of the dollar & to not make impulse shopping decisions. Which, now that I think about it is ironic because my mom was pretty much a shopaholic.

"No way? Our mom actually gave you money? How much did they give you?"

Hayley always questioned anything I told her. It was kind of annoying. I wanted to tell them how much my mom gave me, but I didn't want to deal with the questions about why it was so much or even the glares I'd get.

"Um, she gave me a couple hundred, that's it. She said I could use it on whatever I wanted. But let's go, I'm in need of retail therapy!"

We finally left the driveway. Every time I look out the car window I have a laugh because it seems like a dramatic scene from a movie. Why did my life seem to be a movie that had constant drama? It was kind of funny.

I can see the mall & all I want to do is go inside & buy things I probably don't even need. I can't help but think about Danny & what he's doing right now. Oh how I wish I hadn't deleted his number from my phone.

The mall is packed, as per usual. It's like the entire state of Maryland is in here all at once. I usually look around to see who I can find, most of the time I find one of the gym girls. Hayley & Sydney want to go inside Victoria's Secret for yoga pants & makeup, but I'd rather not. I tell them I'm going to buy a pretzel & that I'd wait outside of the store for them. I go get my pretzel & come back, Daniel is on my mind still. I sit down, wondering if the choice I made was the best one. It still didn't sit right with me.

"Julianna, How come you haven't text me? Intimidated by my greatness? You trying to hide away from me? You know you love this!"

It was Daniel, but he sounded much like my brother. Part of me was relieved to see him, but a part of me was nervous for my sister & Sydney to see him. He still looked just as dreamy as I remembered him.

"Hey Daniel, I.. um.. I've just been busy & I haven't had the time to text."

That was a lie, a blatant lie. I felt as if he could tell it was a lie too. My stomach began to hurt, I don't know if it's because of this pretzel & this plastic cheese sauce or because I was lying. I was never a great liar, ever.

I really wanted to hang out with him & spend time but I was with my sister & Sydney, they'd be crushed if I ruined our girls day to hang out with a boy. Why not though? No one spares my feelings when they make decisions, I'd might as well do I wanted. I'm really just so glad to see him. I have to hang out with him today!

"Let's find an ATM real quick so I can give my sister money & then tell them I got sick & I just wanna go home but to have fun & buy me something."

We find an ATM near a store that reminds me of my youth, Justice. Who knew those stores were still around? I get the money & tell Daniel to stay put as I'll run to H&M, which was only a few stores down, & give Hayley the money & tell them I'm leaving. He then tells me to meet him the back of the store, the Macy's exit. Why'd he wanna meet there?

I walk into H&M & found my sister & Sydney looking in the baby section. I was confused, nobody we knew was pregnant so what were they doing there? I walk over (my face is flushed, works perfectly for my lie) to them & pat my forehead, I look sick.

"Hey guys, my stomach is killing me. I think it was that pretzel cheese getting to me. Y'all have a good day without me. Buy me something cute! Also, don't spend all that money Hay, keep some for yourself."

They hug me & tell me to feel better, I thought to myself "don't worry, I will once I leave this place." I smile, I know I get to spend the day with Daniel, it makes me happy. I walk through the Macy's, this place reminds me of my Nonnie & Mum.  I can see Daniel through the door leaning against this big, black, lifted truck. I instantly get giddy, I love trucks. It's the one vehicle I've always wanted. As I get closer to the back of the store, he began to walk towards me. I was nervous, a million feelings hit me all at once.  He opens the door & swings me around in a circle:

"Hey pretty lady, how about we get on out of this place. We'll take my truck right there, where do ya wanna go? The possibilities are endless!"

I smile. I smile hard. The kind of smile you get when see a cute puppy or kitten. The kind of smile that hurts your face after a couple of minutes. It was the I'm-So-Happy-My-Best-Friend-Can-Sleep-Over kind of smile. In the back of my mind I know my lying was wrong, I should be truthful. But they didn't understand, they wouldn't understand. I did what I felt was best for me. I don't care right now though because I'm with Daniel, in his truck. We're going wherever we want, doing whatever we want.

"So Julianna, where do you wanna go?"