It's Complicated

Chapter 56: I Just Want To Forget This

After the whole hug fest outside, we go back inside of the house. Everyone goes into the kitchen for coffee, Dan of course guides me to a seat at the bar. I plop myself down in my usual spot, only things feel different. Brennan sits to the left of me & I'm actually sort of glad. As I sit & wait to be handed a cup of coffee, I can feel everyone staring at me. I can't actually see them looking at me because I'm messing with the seam of my shorts, but I can feel their beady little eyes on me. I slouch into my seat, trying to cover myself up, really I'm trying to hide bruises & marks so no one has to see them. Brennan instantly notices. He gets up & grabs me a jacket from the closet in front of the staircase. He happened to grab my favorite jacket too, Caleb's red Under Armour hoodie. I tossed it on & I swear I felt like he was hugging me for a minute. I didn't even realize I'd begun crying.

"Annie, are you okay? Do you need anything babe?" Kim asks repeatedly. I don't have an actual response. Am I okay? What don't I need right now? Am I ever going to recover from this? I shake my head, "I'm fine" I say under my breath. I can see my mom on her phone, I wonder who she's telling now. I mean, don't get me wrong I'm glad Dan, Kim & Mary are here but I wish it would've been under my terms. I wish I would've been the one to tell them, not my mom.

"You know we're here for you always, Annie. You're never alone! We love you so much! We're just glad you're okay!" Mary says as her eyes fill with tears. She comes over & wraps her arms around me. Normally, Mary hugs make me feel warm & loved, but today I don't feel anything. I just feel empty & emotionless. She draws back & stares at me before pulling me into her another hug. "Thanks." I reply back.

I look over & see Dan staring into his empty cup. My heart breaks all over again. I quickly cover my eyes with the sleeves of my jacket & I instantly breakdown again. Brennan wraps his arms around me & I fall into him. He lets me cry for what feels like an eternity, I can't stop. "It's okay Annie, I've got you. I'm right here. You're be okay!" He whispers softly to me. I couldn't be more thankful for him right now. I'd felt so lost & alone for a while that I didn't know what I was gonna do. I was becoming sad & depressed because I had no one. My mom has my dad. Hayley has Ryan. Katie has Zach. Kim has Dan. Mary has Luke. Brennan had his girlfriend & I had no one.

I'm somehow able to calm myself down as everyone talks around me. They're asking questions & talking as if I'm not in the room. How long was this going on? Did she love him? Why did she stay? Why didn't she ask for help? What on Earth was she thinking? She could do better! I thought they ended things? A million things being talked about but not once have they asked me anything. I can't take it anymore. I laugh in distress & they all look over at me. Even Brennan picked his head up from his phone & looked at me. "What's wrong? Are you alright? Did he try to text you?" Kim says frantically & out of breath. I can't help but to laugh even more. "Annie? What's going on?" Mary asks with her brows furrowed & a confused look on her face. "Nothing, nothing. Don't mind me." I say.

"Obviously something is wrong, so tell us. We're here because of you & for you. We're here to help Annie. We can't help if we don't know what's going on!" Kim shouts across the room. I look over at my mom who's half-asleep & resting her head on Jill's shoulder. Jill is also falling asleep being that they stayed up all night constantly checking on me every 5 minutes. "You don't know the whole — you don't know anything about the situation. You never — Never mind, it isn't worth it." I know I shouldn't bite my tongue but the moment I say what's on my mind, is the moment everyone is going to hear things they don't want to hear. Kim rolls her eyes, Mary looks distraught & Dan is still sitting there disconnected from the actual conversation.

"Well then tell us Annabelle! We're trying to help you!" Mary puts a hand on Kim's back in attempt to keep her calm. "Just tell us what's going on so we can help you!" She pleads. "Don't push her Kim, she'll come around when she feels it's best." Mary quietly whispers back to Kim. Who in all honestly, lost her SHIT a few seconds later. "No Mare, we deserve answers! She hasn't said anything that has happened so how are we supposed to help?" Her eyes are full of heartbreak & sorrow, I know she means we'll but it's becoming too much. I can feel myself slowly cracking. "How.. how am I supposed to help my baby if I don't know what's going on? Say something, Annie! Say something!" She cries.