It's Complicated

Chapter 29: The Morning Of

*STORY IS BACK IN ANNIE'S POV*

I lay in bed next to Kim, getting deep into my thoughts. It probably wasn't my best idea but I couldn't help myself. Of all days to get emotionally worked up, of course it just HAD to be today!

It's been a week & Mary is still missing, well not missing-missing but she's gone & hasn't said where she's at. A piece of me feels broken inside now that she isn't here, I'm not really sure if she'll ever come back. I guess that's what hurts the most, just not knowing. Things were incomplete around here without her, not to mention Kim is slowly going insane without her but she's too mad to admit it. I just wish she'd come back home, to us, to me.

Last weeks meet was rough, especially without Mary. I mean we hardly got any real practice in & then all that drama happened? Shit was unreal. Not a single coral girl placed higher than 5th the entire meet, it was depressing. Everyone just sat together & bawled our eyes out because we knew how disappointed Mary would be. I mean sure, she's a tough coach but she's building us up to be great & that's why we love her, that's also why we miss her. Gym was fun when the rules weren't enforced but we also rarely got things done. I have so many mixed-emotions but I know I just want Mary back.

I grab my phone & look at the clock, it's 5 AM. I should probably start getting ready but I don't even want to compete, not after last week. I cover my head with the blanket when Kim yanks it down & groggily says "Time to wake up Annabelle, it's states day!" My throat has a lump. States. The time of year that determines if you're good enough for regionals which you then go to compete to qualify for nationals. I've never gotten past regionals so this weekend is a big deal to me, I need to focus & keep my eye on the prize but that's hard to do when your coach is gone.

Kim crawls out from under the blankets & proceeds to jump on the bed in attempt to wake me up. I swear this woman is internally 5 years old! "Wake up, wake up, wake up! It's gonna be a great day! There's the meet, the after party, WOOHOO & a special surprise from me & Dan!" I chuckle & give a smirk. As much fun as today seems, it's also the day that I go back home & go back to my shitty, broken family. I love them, but I love being around happy like Kim & Dan. "I'm gonna make breakfast & I'll meet you downstairs?" I nod my head, there isn't much to say.

I somehow manage to get dressed in my leotard & warmups in less than 10 minutes, which was probably a new personal record for me. I threw my hair into the infamous "Via bun", a hairstyle rocked by the coral girls for years now. I take a look in the mirror, worst decision ever. I feel like I look bloated, like I look pudgey. I grab the small amount of body fat & sigh. Why can't I just be perfect? With no flaws?

The smell of breakfast flows through the house, it's gonna be a good day, so I hope. I walk down into the kitchen & sit myself at the bar & listen to Kim sing as she cooks. Dan makes his way down from their bedroom & into the kitchen as well. He grabs Kim from behind & pulls her close, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Morning Annabelle, you ready for today?" He says as he drinks his morning coffee. "Of course she's ready, babe! I trained that little nugget!" Kim laughs, but it's true. She's known me for so long now, she's basically helped shape me into the gymnast I am now. "I mean, under the circumstances yes I'm ready for the meet. Am I ready to go home yet? No, I don't think I'll ever be ready." Dan noticed the sadness in my voice, it also makes Kim teary-eyed. They approached me into a "nug hug" which is basically the two of them sandwiching me into a hug; something Kim made up one day I was struggle back in level 7. "Well, you're always welcomed here whenever. You know that! We love you, kiddo!" They both kiss the top of my head & release from the hug.

We sit down to eat breakfast & for once, Kim doesn't yell at me for being on my phone. I eat my pancakes & sausage as I scroll down Instagram to check out everyone's latest posts. I tend to scroll really slowly, paying attention to details in the photos & comments, when I noticed Liv's username on my screen. I hadn't unfollowed her because everyone would've asked a million & one questions why I did it. Reluctantly, I scroll down to view the image. I brace myself, or at least try to. "Oh shit Annie, we've got to go! We need to meet up with your mom & Katie! Dan's gonna meet us there in after a bit!" Kim quickly grabs my things & rushes me out the door before I could even look at that picture.

We get into the car & instantly regret not keeping track of time. "Jesus Christ, this car is freaking cold!" It felt as if we'd just walked into an actual ice house, it's supposed to be transitioning from winter to spring but yet it still 18° outside. "Yep, I definitely should've kept time better!" Kim says as she laughs because of the cold air floating around as she speaks. We crank up the heater & sit in the car for a bit before leaving.

"You know, I'm really gonna miss you when you leave. You taught me so much about being a mom that I almost don't want to let you go back home. I love you so much, even though you're always on that damn phone during meals! I wouldn't trade this experience for anything else!" She grabs my hands & fights back the tears. "Thank you, for helping me come to turns with Arabella's passing. & for being here now while Mary is away. I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't know what I'm gonna do without you now." She wipes away the tears from her eyes & rubs her nose. I can't help but shed a couple of years myself. There's so much I want to say to her, but I can't get worked up before a meet. But she knows, she knows how much I love her. She clears her throat & fixes her hair, "well let's get this show on the road. It's time for states & we've got some bling in our future!" I can't help but give the dorkiest smile ever! It's moments like this that I live for. It's moments like this that I'm gonna miss the most.