It's Complicated

Chapter 22: Thankful

It's 3:47 AM in morning, I can't sleep. I toss & turn all night but can't seem to fall asleep. I grab my laptop that's on my nightstand & decide to watch the newest vlogs. I forget that we upload two days late so I'm still in the videos, but my mom included a clip of herself talking about me.

"The next few vlogs won't have Annie or may only have a few clips of her. Our girl is focused on her next few meets & is having a social media free couple of weeks in preparation! We're so proud of you baby!"

I check the comment section to see what people are saying & everyone of course has a million theories made about me. Some of the comment hurt more than others. I try to focus on the positive ones that wish me well but the mean ones always catch my attention. I try to shake it off but I can't. I shut my laptop & put it away.

I restlessly stay in bed until I hear Kim & Dan awake. I can hear mumbles but I can't really make anything out. Being the nosey person I am, I decide to walk into the hallway to hear better; still nothing is clear. I begin to walk away when I hear shouting, I stop walking, what the hell was going on? I hear the door beginning to open & I kind of just stood there. Kim comes out balling & runs to Arabella's room. Part of me wants to chase after her, but Dan quickly follows.

I'm stunned, I don't know what to do really. I wait for them to come out for what seemed like an hour but was really only 5 minutes but nothing happened, they never came out. I decide now is a good time to get dressed for gym & eat breakfast. I grab my usual attire & lug my all my bags for gymscool downstairs. I make myself french toast with a "healthy" side of strawberries & whipped cream. I sit down at the bar & begin to worry a bit, I haven't heard Kim & Dan in a while. I try to not get too worried & continue to eat breakfast as I scroll on social media.

"Hey you know the rules, no phones while eating your food!" I didn't notice Kim coming down the stairs, I didn't expect to see her for a while to be honest. "Practice is cancelled again today, I just need some space. I love you. Whatever you do today, be safe & get some school done!" She grabbed her keys, gave me kiss on the forehead & left. I was kind of dumbfounded. Don't get me wrong, I like having off days from training but two days in a row? Um hello, our last meet before states is coming up & I KNOW that I'm underprepared!

I finish my breakfast in silence & then get up to wash my dishes. As I walk over to the sink Dan emerges from the corner scaring the living shit out of me, I drop my plate & it shatters.

He leans down & begins picking of the shards of ceramic from the floor. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you Annie! I was just looking for you to see when you.. When uh, you wanted to go to see her." He seems nervous, more than he usually does at least. He seems uneasy, but I can't tell if that's from the fight he had with Kim or because I'm going to meet Arabella.

"I'm ready whenever really!" Okay so maybe I looked ready, but I didn't feel ready. I want to meet her, I do, but part of me feels terrible for never going to see Caleb. A piece of me dies inside knowing I haven't visited Bubby since well you, everything happened. "Alright, well let me grab & coat & we'll head out." I nod in response to Dan.

He comes back & we make our way to the car, I almost feel like backing out. I know I can't, Dan needs someone there for him, he needs this more than he wants to admit. I take a deep breath before getting into the car. "This is going to be good, for you, Kim, Dan & Arabella." I keep mentally telling myself this.

The car ride to the cemetery was sort of weird & awkward. Dan kept nervously tapping the steering wheel & checking the time, really I just think he was waiting for Kim to call. Music played softly as I stared out the window, it was your typical dramatic movie scene. I close my eyes & try to rest since I still haven't gotten any sleep.