It's Complicated

Chapter 30: States

The arena is huge, I swear we could fit at least 6 of our houses in here. I quickly become overwhelmed as we anxiously await to hear what flights we're in & which events we'll start on. Thank goodness Katie is with me. She squeezes my hand as we wait. I look into the crowd, noticing my family sitting next to Katie's also accompanied by a strange boy sitting next to Brennan.

"Who's that dude over there next to B?" I hesitantly asked Katie. A grin grew instantly across her face, she became giddy, almost childlike. "That's Zach. He's Brennan's friend, but he's totally got a crush on me. We've been talking for like a week now & he's seriously the sweetest!" She jumps up & down as she tells me this, only to stop & blow a kiss towards her family that she directed more to him. "Aw, that's great! I'm happy for you!" I was definitely happy for her, but kind of crushed at the fact that she didn't tell me sooner.

"Annie, you're in flight 7 with coach Nate. Katie, you're in 8 with me!" My heart instantly feels like it's busted. I can't focus on anything now that I'll be competing without my best friend & my coach that's basically my mom. I loved coach Nate but it wasn't the same with him. "Alright flight 7, we're starting on floor so begin warming up your passes!" Coach Nate says as he rubs his head in the slightest deal of frustration.

Floor. Of course I start on floor. It wasn't my first choice but at least beam is saved for last. I wish Mary were here, I wish she could calm me down & remind me things would be fine. I just needed her here, even if for a moment. I close my eyes shut & begin praying, something I don't typically do but today I needed it. I feel a hand on my shoulder & get pulled into a hug before I can see who it is. I push away from the hug & look back at who it is, it's Mary.

My heart is full & I can't contain myself. I jump on top of her as she swings me around in circles. "You really thought I'd miss this? Never! I'm here now & that's all that matters!" I probably look like an idiot when the crowd looks at me, but I don't care because Mary is back. Out of nowhere Kim spots Mary & hauls ass toward her, essentially tackling her down to the floor. Kim is on top of Mary, pinning her down. "I missed you so much!" Mary pops back up & squeezes Kim into a hug. "I missed you, too. We've got to talk later!" Kim nods & removes herself from on top of Mary & extends a hand to help her up.

The announcement comes on, "The meet will begin in 5 minutes, please make your way over to your events with your athletes." Shit. I wish I had more time. "Don't worry Annie, I'll be right there with you the whole time!" Mary says as she gives me a thumbs up. Finally, I can calm down a tad.

As the meet progresses, I realize I'm having such a great day. I mean even if I wasn't with Katie, I was still with my friends & that in itself was great. I was scoring exactly where I wanted to be! I got a 9.786 on floor, 9.812 on Vault & a 9.957 on bars! All I've got left to do is face the evil beam! The beam I were never friends, ever! I usually had a spill when it came to tumbling on the beam, but no matter what I always try my best to save it.

As we wait around for it to be my turn on beam my nerves begin to get the best of me. My chest tightens & I feel kind of dizzy, but I don't say anything, I need to nail this routine! "Hey Annie, I know I probably hurt you by leaving this past week. It wasn't fair to you all. I'm sorry. But, I found out I'm not pregnant.." As Mary talks to me you can hear the sadness in her voice. "Oh my, Mare. I love you so much!" I quickly give a hug being that it's almost my turn on beam. I can't believe this though! I know she said she didn't want her baby, but it almost sounded as if she did.

It's now my turn on beam. I try to shake out the nerves but they're still there. I take a deep breath & begin my routine. Half of it is a blur, I seriously go into autopilot when it comes to my beam routine. After I land my aerial & go into my split jump I see Liv & Daniel sitting in the crowd behind my family. My heart begins to race & my breathing becomes shallow. Everything feels tight, I feel like I almost can't move. It's time for my dismount, I take a moment & take yet another deep breath. As my feet lift off the beam for the final time, I realize there wasn't enough power behind it. Everything goes white, I can't breathe. I can't see anything. I'm in pain, excruciating pain & I just feel like crying.

I can't see anything, my vision is distorted but I can hear cries & concerns. I can hear my mom yelling in the distance, "get up baby, I know you can do this! You're okay! I love you, so much!" You can hear the worry in her voice, I'm sure she's assumed the worst. Mary is next to me trying to talk to me but I can't understand anything behind the tears & sniffles. I blink for a bit as I try to regain my vision, it finally comes back. "What happened? Why can't I move?" I become worried, I seriously can't move my body, not even a finger. "Oh dear god," she says as she shines a smile through her crying. "Your body froze in the middle of your dismount. You landed on your neck & bounced. It was intense.. It still is. Are you alright?" She has this concerned look on my face, almost as if I, too, should be worried.

The only thing on my mind is why is Daniel here with Liv? Why on Earth? "Yeah I'm alright but I can't move anything Mary.. I can't even lift my pinky." Her face becomes ghostly & she furrows her brows, I instantly know somethings terribly wrong. "Alright.. Um.. Just don't move.. We're waiting for the paramedics to come get you!" I can't help but cry. I think of regionals & possibly nationals, that's out the window but then again my whole career of gymnastics could possibly be over. Why me? Why do bad things always happen to me?