Just Hold Me Close | sm + cc

Ten

Shawn ~
God, I'm debating if you really exist. Why would you put me in such state of mind that it causes me to cry?
God, if you're really there, please help me in my time of need. I have gone to church every Sunday and prayed for you. The one time I really need you, you vanish.
Please, God, my one and only true love is probably dead or about to die. I want her to live. I NEED her to live. She's the light of my life and the only thing that keeps me going. I don't know what I would do without her. How would I breathe? I don't think I would be able to fully function on my own. I'd most likely die of despair, being without her.
God, my heart has plunged into an abyss of nothingness and I'm not going down to get it. What's the point of living without being able to hear the sweet voice of my Camila. Her beautiful eyes have slowly turned to black as she herself is plunging into an abyss of nothingness.
I'm slowly dying, God, for I have lost the real true meaning of happiness. Happiness, to me, is holding onto her tight in my jacket, happiness is walking on the shores of the beach and holding hands with her, happiness is scaring her when she walks into a room, happiness is kissing her peach lips, happiness is laying next to her and just hearing her tiny small breaths as she lays her head on my shoulder, happiness is....Camila.
God, I need Camila in my life. She's the oxygen and I'm the lungs. I'll die if she's gone.
Please, God, rescue her from the beast that's killing her.
God, she's not ready to die. Heaven knows not now in the peak of her life.
Why is it that I only get to have her for a small period of my life? Was this a test to see how much I would cherish her? Because, I need a retake, and after that a retake and after that a retake and so on. Why would you use a live, beautiful, human being as a test!?
God, of all of the fucked up things I have done in my life, why is it that you test on my love's life?
God, you should have taken me. TAKE ME FOR GOODNESS SAKES. Why do you need another angel in heaven now? You have millions upon millions upon millions upon millions. Are you really that greedy to want to have more? Okay, that was a bit mean, I apologize, God, but why Camila of all people in a world of seven billion + people why Camila?
God, if you're deciphering whether to take me or Camila, take me. Her life is not finished at all. She's finished 20% of her life, 20% too little.
God, I don't know if you're still listening or just went to someone else because I kept nagging too much, but please let me dear Camila live. I want to be able to see her alive, well, and breathing, please. If she's dead, I will quit everything I have ever started and just die right then and there on the cold slabs of tile in the floor.

God, take me instead.

[This wasn't much, but Shawn is going through a struggle. Also, I don't know what religion he practices, let's just say that he's Christian, because I honestly don't know. Also, sorry that this is all about him praying. Hope you guys enjoyed. 😊]