Just Hold Me Close | sm + cc

Nineteen

Shawn ~
       My hand had been drenched in tears from reading that letter.
Not worthy? For anything I AM not worthy of her. How could I never notice these feelings she had about us. We're both in the same "you're way too out of my league " boat. But, to just leave like that? Leave me in tears not knowing her whereabouts? How dare she act like this. I understand that she wants us to break up, but couldn't she have just said it in person?
Do I go look after her? God, what did I do to deserve this?

I wiped the tears always from my cheeks. I crumpled the piece of paper and threw it at the wall. I plopped onto my bed and just laid there. I don't even know what to do now. God someone kill me. I don't want to be put through this pain.
One second we're the best fucking thing on the face of the planet, now we're....nothing. She says she loves me, but wants to leave me...
How am I, a simple guy, supposed to fully comprehend that?
I grabbed my phone and attempted to call her.
Of course, she didn't answer.
I love her to death, and I have constantly told her that. Could she not notice that from me? Well, there was no way she could have avoided that.
So, we're done. Just like that.

I covered my fave with my hands and noticed I still had Camila's ring on. Should I even wear this now? She wants us to be done, yet she said she loved me. I can't bear any of this shit anymore.
I can't believe I even thought I wanted to marry her. Then again, I still do. What's wrong with me?!?

The only thing that hurts the most is that I still love her.....