Just Hold Me Close | sm + cc

Twenty

The Morning Camila Left:
Camila ~
         I woke up in the embrace of Shawn's arms and his small breaths against my forehead.
I knew what I planned to do today, but I don't want to.
I grabbed the letter out of my pocket and set it in the nightstand.
God, the fact that this is all planned kills me even more.
I'm breaking up with him and its out of the blue. There is no other time I could possibly do this. God, why am I doing this???
I looked at the paper one more time to reassure myself that I'm doing the right thing.
God, what am I doing?? I love him to fucking death. Hes the best thing that has ever happened to me, but he's too damn good to be true. I know something will happen. I know he'll do something to break my heart. So, I'll do it before he does it to me. Is this the right choice to make?

I don't want to do this.
You must.
But I love him.
He'll hurt you, just like everyone else has.
He wouldn't do that.
That's what you thought of your last boyfriend.
Shawn loves me, I know it. I should just stay.
What if he ends up breaking your heart?
He won't.
Just take a couple of days off from him. Come back and tell him your thoughts.
Ok.

Every thought that appeared in my mind contradicted itself with the next one.
I inhaled, I took my ring off and laid it next to the paper. I tried not to cry so I wouldn't get tears everywhere.
Just like two days at the most. I promise.
I walk over to Shawn as he sleeps.
"I love you. I'm sorry." I kiss his forehead and wipe the tears that dripped onto his face off. He lips curved in to a smile that made me cry even more.
He's way too good for me. He could have anyone else, yet he chooses me. Why? I feel like an anchor on his boat. I don't want to be an anchor. I know he'll cry, but I need some alone time.
I plan to catch a flight today back to Miami. Being with my family might help this whole situation.
God, my mind just can't fully grasp whether or not he's good or bad for me. I want him to be good for me so bad, but I just don't know. He's perfect and I'm just dragging him down. God, he probably is good for me, but I just don't want to risk it.
I grabbed my bag and swiftly left our apartment without making a sound.

I hope I'm doing the right thing.

After finding out Camila's gone:
Shawn ~
        I need to go after her. I need some sort of explanation from her. Or at least know that she's alright.
God, where would she be?
{Fuck, guys, Running Low just came on Spotify. I'm about to cry.}
I look around the room to see if she left any clues to where she went. I open up her drawers and most of her clothes are gone.
I walk downstairs and see that she left her laptop on the kitchen counter. I rush to it immediately and open it.
There must be SOMETHING in here, right?
Just as the screen loads up, it shows her browser on the American Airlines website buying a one-way ticket to Miami at.... ONE 'O CLOCK!!!!
THAT IS IN TWO HOURS!!!
Holy crap, the airport is like a fucking hour away.
I rush upstairs to grab my keys, coat, and phone and run towards the door. I quickly slip on my sneakers and run out.
I can't waste a minute- a second really. I run in front of the elevator and frantically press the "down" button.
Why are you so slow today?
Never mind the damn elevator, I'm taking the stairs.
I ran left to the stair well and jumped four steps at a time.
Fuck, I'm only on the seventh floor. This definitely won't take a long time....

After a LOT of damn stairs, even though I was jumping four at a time, I finally reached the lobby.
"Good Afternoon, Shawn." The receptionist greeted me. I didn't reply as I was running.
Damn, I guess you could call me Forrest Gump because I'm running EXTREMELY FAST. (That didn't make any sense at all)
I run to my car and hop in.
This will be the longest car ride of my life.

Please don't leave me, Camila.

{Guys, I really did end up crying from Running Low. Not only is it a pretty song, but it relates so much to this part of the book. OMG. I love this book so much. I also love you guys! Thanks for voting and commenting so much! I love it! Thank you!!!}