Just Hold Me Close | sm + cc

Eighteen

(Sorry about all of the grammatical errors in my last chapter. Ugh. Also the autocorrects.)

Shawn~
I woke up at about ten to see that Camila was gone. I looked in the bathroom and she wasn't there. I went to the kitchen, she wasn't there. Living room, nope. Guest room, nope. She's gone.
Ok, maybe I'm just overreacting. She probably went to the store or something. I walked over to my phone which sat upon my nightstand, until I noticed a small slip of paper.....and the black ring I gave her.
I sat on my bed and grabbed the piece of paper.
Is she leaving me? Has she lost all feelings for me? What about what she said yesterday, were those words meaningless?
I began to read the slip of paper. Though it was small, there were many words.
Shawn,
I know you're wondering where I am right now, but I'm not going to tell you. You might think I'm acting like a child, but I need some "me time." I love you so much Shawn, but, last night made me think of I even deserve you. Why would such a beautiful and amazing and brilliant soul such as you, like me? Or even love me for that matter? The ring you gave me, I give to you now. Put it on now as you read. ( I put it on). Now, I'm there with you. You gave me that ring when you though I was on my death bed and ready to go to the heavens. I give you this ring now to you, on our metaphorical death bed. I'm not trying to say that our love is dead, but I want to emphasize that I need some time to think. Shawn, you are out of my league and I can't handle it. I feel like I'm the weak link, like I'm the one dragging you down, like I'm the unworthy one. I love you dearly, but I just don't know about "us." If there even is an us after you're done reading this letter. I couldn't bear the tears, humility, and torture of saying goodbye to you in person. I didn't want to see the disappointment on your face when I told you this. It's embarrassing, really, having second thoughts about dating the hottest, creative, and outrageous guy in the world, but you're so much better if without me. There are so many other girls you can be with. So go be with them. If you ever need me, look at the same hand that held mine in the hospital. The same one that might help me get through this whole thing. I will return in a couple of days. I love you, but you need better. Anybody else would be a better choice than me.
Camila