Just Hold Me Close | sm + cc

Twenty-Three

Shawn ~
It's been a little hard talking to Camila. Ever since the whole letter thing, we just aren't as open as we used to be.
Her and I have just been sitting on the couch on our phones.
I just want to put this all behind, starting now.
"Want to get lunch?" Camila looked up at me and asked as if nothing had happened.
"No thanks." I replied returning back to my phone. I just wanted to talk about what just happened. We can't just act as if everything is perfectly normal, because it's not.
I turned to Camila. She was picking at her nails, ruining her nail polish.
"Camila," I took a deep breath," we need to talk about what just happened."
"Are you breaking up with me?" She asked nervously.
"No," I got up and sat immediately next to her," I'm not doing that. It's just that we can't push away our problems."
She nodded her head in agreement.
"I'm sorry, Shawn. My mind just keeps coming and going whenever it wants."
"I just don't want to act like this is something happens every day."
"Are we still together?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Are we still together?"
"Yea, of course. Why wouldn't we be?"
"I don't know, I just thought that.....because I left I made you hate me. And, I hate me."
She twiddled her thumbs.
"The only time we'll ever break up is if I say something like 'I hate you.' You know? And I don't hate you, I love you."
"Shawn, I love you too."
"Do you still feel like a drag?"
"Not really."
I moved her hair out of her face.
"Are you lying to me?"
"What?"
"Well? Are you?"
She took a deep breath and held onto my hand.
"I just don't want you to feel like you need to date me."
"I want to date you, Camila. I love you."
She turned away and hung her and head in sadness.
"Camila," I started," when did you start feeling this way?"
"I don't know, just yesterday. I don't know. There's just no way that someone as amazing as you would like me......" She trailed off.
"What.... Camila, you're the only amazing one here. I love you dearly and I don't want you to feel like this."
She sniffed and wiped away a single tear.
"Yeah, you're right, Shawn. God, I make a big deal over nothing."
"No, it's fine, you just have to balance it all out. You just have mix feelings."
She looked up at me with a giant smile on her face. She had suddenly changed her tone.
"Actually, I have no fucking clue why I acted like that."
She jumped up and grabbed my arm. It caused me to pop off of the cushion. Her giggles made me bubble up and chuckle. She began moving the furniture away from the center of the room.
"What are you doing?" I took my jacket off and Camila took my arm and twirled me around.
"Why not, Shawn?" She bit her tongue and smiled. She then twirled me around even more.
I stopped, held onto her hand, and looked into her eyes.
"Are you ok? Like, are you still sad about what just happened."
"Nope!"
Well, that was a random turn of events. What even just happened here?