If you read the first chapter, it says ANYTHING could happen. Be warned. Some of this is NOT kid friendly. It's not fifty shades of grey (never read the book) adult content either, so... PG-13?
•When I first heard of oral sex, I thought of the toothbrush. How the hell do you have sex with a toothbrush?
•At seventh grade, I found out that the Chicago White Sox sign spells "Sox." I thought it was a funky retro looking sign.
•If you're turned on by a cartoon, you have a problem. If you're turned on by anime, that's fine. If you're turned on by Pokemon, you have a serious problem.
•If you look at the Tasmanian Devil sideways and monochrome it, you'll see an old cat with a open nose. What was that cat's name? Sylvester?
•Porn videos have more views than this.
•Rule 1: I almost broke it.
•I had 3 nose bleeds while writing this. You're welcome.
•Don't choke on lemonade. Not fun.
•CBA has two definitions. Can't be asked and Chicago Bagel Association. There's more, but I'm lazy.
•You don't put a baby back in the mother, whether that be an infant or a 37 year old.
•I prefer elephants than donkeys.
•Video stores are going broke. Thanks a lot Netflix.
•If I had a baby, I'd call him Osama. If it was a girl, Hitler.
•Being a stripper is hard work.
•WTF backwards is FTW.
•The moon is the best place for Tom & Jerry. They went to the mars, why not?
•Scooby-doo looks the damn same in every episode. Hell, it's plot is the same in every episode! (Specials not included.)
•I always hesitate whenever I eat sausages.
•I always miss the Super Bowl while playing Runescape
•:D backwards is D:
•Did you know that people are food too?
•Whenever I open the shower curtain, I always expect either a dead body or a psycho murderer.
•At 1st grade, I thought that to make fruit punch, you had to punch fruit. #FruitAbuse #StillHateHashtags #HowToBasic #Egg
•:P backwards is P: I think I'm licking my nose.
